Oh well I suppose its going to be a long long road road to travel. You feel the anxiousness as they go through the op [what a horrible horrible feeling] waiting 9 hrs from start to finish. Then you feel elated that they came through this alive. So helpless seeing him on all these tubes in intensive care, but they all gradually have been removed one by one and he has then been moved onto a surgical ward. I thought yes we are on the road to recovery [ I suppose I am just wanting things to happen too fast} but now he has infection set in in his wound. My husband keeps asking me is this a dream he is in and is going to wake up from it feeling perfectly well. I wish I could say yes/or give him more postive answers. Feel drained but must keep going. Onward and upward [as my dear mum use to say when she was alive, wish she was hear now pushing me instead of feeling sorry for myself].
FormerMember
Just read your blog and I do feel for you. it's so difficult to watch someone you love going through this all this awful treatment - I, like you, feel dreadfully helpless. And, yes, what do you say when you've run out of ideas and nothing seems to come to mind? It is a long, hard road, but please be encouraged and know that you are not alone in your feelings. Dont worry about feeling sorry for yourself - we all get days like that - I think its the bodys natural way of slowing you down sometimes. Dont know how long you've been on this site - I am quite new to it - but have found it to be a wonderful source of encouragment when feeling down. Keep going, make yourself a nice cuppa and put your feet up with some relaxing music and a good book or junk magazine - it works for me! You are there for him and that's the important thing - not what you say/dont say. Wishing you peace of mind, much love Annie
Hello Duchess, I'm sorry to read about what your husband is going through but Annie is quite right. You don't have to provide 24/7 up-beat converstions for your husband. Just being there with him on this journey is wonderful. Supporting him and loving him you would be doing even if he was well so try not to burn out. This is a fantastic place to come to when you feel like shouting or 'unloading' what you are feeling and we will be here to listen. A big hug from me.
Yup, the ladies are right. You're entitled to feel a bit sorry for yourself from time to time and never mind straining yourself to be permanently upbeat, just be yourself! It's hard work caring for a sick partner (been there, done that) and you have to learn to look after yourself so you're able to look after him. No sense being a martyr over it. When I was diagnosed, the most heartening words I heard were from my partner, who said, 'You're not by yourself with this.' So that's all you need to do. Just be there for him.
You might want to talk to a Macmillan nurse and see what help you can get when you bring him home.
