The Demise of Roland Ratso: Chapter twenty one

Friday and two to go after this one. It’s the miserable bus driver again and two young women get on – one with dyed red hair. They are physiotherapy students and are going for an assessment and are full of it – nerves that is – laughing and giggling and making a lot of noise. Grumpy is not impressed and asks them to tone it down. He stops at traffic lights about five yards from the bus stop and a man waves the driver to let him on. He is reluctant to do so and then tells the man that he’s not supposed to pick anyone up except at the authorised bus stop. The bus waits another two or three minutes while the tram exits the station. All of Nottingham could have got on while we were waiting. I decide to say thankyou to Grumpy anyway. Why should he turn me into an ignorant git? May his next shit be a porcupine! Mine certainly feels like it! Not much else to report – straight in and out again. Lurch has got nothing to do. He comes in and tidies the magazines and on my way out he is hiding at the end of a corridor sticking his head out of a doorway. The two trainee physiotherapists catch the same bus as me on the way back. It’s good news and they are now debating where to go to celebrate. I am pleased for them. The driver on the way back is a gem. He’s got a map of the hospital campus and has asked all of his passengers where they want to go and then shows them the map as they get off. Thankfully most of the medilink drivers are like that. On the way home I stop at Collins “Legendary” warehouse which is a hotch-potch of all sorts of things – some of them even useful. It’s no exaggeration to say that to walk around the whole thing is about a mile but my back was playing up so I just got what I wanted – a plastic walk-in greenhouse and some seeds. After the success of my runner beans last year we will be cropping again this year – I have bought lettuce and mustard. I had better ring Morrsison’s to see if they want first refusal. Seanty’s response to my blog chapter twenty has thrown up an interesting point. I was on Xenical (orlistat) for a number of years and instead of using it as a weight loser I used it to maintain my weight and not put any on. I don’t know if any of you know how xenical works but basically it diverts thirty percent of ingested fat so it goes straight through the bowel. If you overdose on fat the effects can be spectacular. Dr. Lowe told me that if I took it and overdosed on fat then when I wanted to open my bowels no anal sphincter on earth was good enough to stop it. Sorry to get back to my favourite subject – you must think I am obsessed with all things anal but honestly it’s not the case. Perhaps that’s why I don’t get invited to many dinner parties! Anyway the point is xenical MIGHT have masked some of my bowel cancer problems. It’s not supposed to be used how I used it and maybe Dr. Lowe was too frightened to take it off me. Nevertheless there is some mileage for anyone taking xenical to consider their stools very carefully.