Well Eric did lead me astray and I am not regretting the circumstances. Graham, the welfare steward, must have put the right amount of beer in the water. Or water in the beer. Depending on your point of view.
It started late on Saturday – extreme tiredness and nausea. The last time I started a chemo course it hit me on the Friday – this time a day late. Sunday was even worse although I did manage to cook and eat dinner. I think a build up of a lack of sleep had caused it – I have got a pain like toothache in my left jaw – there is a tender spot in the jaw itself. At first I thought it was where I had a crown replaced but now I realise it is further away from there. That and bloody sciatica. If those two tormentors would pack up I would feel generally in very good (and probably uncharacteristically) rude health given the chemo and radio that I am being subjected to.
It definitely wasn’t Eric’s leading me astray on Thursday and I also went out on Saturday against my better judgement which might have exacerbated the situation. Still a functioning human being though – did the shopping - Eleanor (my granddaughter age 5) gave me a shopping list – Irene (the wife) complained that when she gives me a shopping list I don’t use it – but what are granddaughters for if not to drive boundaries forward?
A new week and I’m on LINAC 1 – LINAC 2 is still on service. Irene says it’s coz I have broken it. She says I break everything. I prefer to call it customising. LINAC 1 is quieter than 2 – I prefer 2 because I can count the shots and know when I can pull my pants up again. General mutterings about how long does it take to service etc. Well these machines weigh tons literally and it’s not just a case of lifting the lid and having a bit of a tweak.
Yesterday (Tuesday 10th) I went through my usual routine – shower and scrape of the derriere but when I got to hospital the weight was on and I had to duck into the toilet for an emergency poo. My poo these days is a sort of maroon colour (remember I am colour blind so it might be orange or something) and I cleaned myself up the best I could but I hope I didn’t disgrace myself.
One thing this treatment has done is I have sorted out all of my underclarts and those with the perforated gussets have gone in the bin – even my favourite red and lime green ones (or they might have been pink and blue for all I know) and I always said I wanted to be buried in the lime green ones. I don’t know why women have to boil the goodness out of the elastic – I have had to throw out perfectly good underclarts because the elastic has no goodness left and they won’t stay up when they have got perfectly good gussets! Irene says why don't we just throw things out. Well her knicker drawere is stuffed to the gunnels and you don't find me making comments.
Tuesday is also review day. The consultant has now relegated me to the registrar – can’t remember his name – but they must be happy with my progress. He told me that my bloods are good and that my tolerance to the chemo was excellent. I asked him about losing weight. “That’s normal” he said “but you must try and eat normally.” I replied that I WANTED to lose weight. H e looked and then said that I had lost weight on the first cycle but have put it back on. I said that I wanted to lose weight before surgery – don’t want the nurses to get hernias humping me about and the surgeon losing an arm trying to find my bowels.
So I have got to see the dietician again.
Tuesday and the fishing man was in the waiting room but he was very quiet. Didn’t hardly speak or moan once. I don’t think the treatment is suiting him very well. The rest of the inmates were a quiet uncomplaining lot – don’t know if it’s because they are LINAC 1 crew and LINAC 2 are the moaners or whether it’s just a different cross section. Lurch wasn’t lurking about either – must be on a different shift. And no-one in dressing gowns, wheelchairs and oxygen masks. There is some benefit to later appointments.
