I had already phoned up the radiography department from the ward and they said I could just call in for a shot providing the consultant said it was OK and they were true to their word. I told them I was like a bag lady – I had a large (recyclable) carrier bag with my pyjamas and dressing gown and other chattels, another bag with my three weeks of antibiotics and my Tupperware box with my normal drugs. Plonking all of my goods on the floor next to the chair where I put my coat, I drop my britches and get on with the mooning.
When I got out of radiotherapy seventeen o’clock and his ward were there. So know I have got a good idea what time to miss!
I get outside Tim and Antony were outside doing a “Miss MarplemurdershewroteInspectormorse” investigation. A crime had been committed. A truck had done a three point turn and smashed the rear light of a car – not a cheap item to replace. Antony had got the number of the truck and had written the details and placed it on the windscreen. While they were waiting for me they thought that the driver of the truck had come back to remove said details so we phoned City hospital security and told them. Good deed done for the day we departed. Back in my old bed at last.
Nothing much to report on Tuesday. Wedneday it is Lyndsey’s birthday and we go to Damon’s in Lincoln where I have a European mountain of mushrooms and a New York steak which I really enjoyed. Eleanor was being a very good boy and a good time was had by all. Just got in in time. Ratso was extracting his revenge. It was the start of three days of diahorrea. Well not diahorrea exactly. It was firm enough but I couldn’t stop it coming. All night long. You can light candles on my arse in spite of using the “soothing” cream that they have supplied.
Thursday 27th February and my appointment is at 1330. There is a sign on the Perspex box – 45 minutes delay due to breakdown and workload. Only two in front of me and one being crisped so it doesn’t look too bad.
An elderly lady is waiting on her own “Are you waiting for the doctor? “ I asked. “No, I don’t really know what I am waiting for” she replied, “I think I am waiting to go in the stimulator, whatever that is.”
“Surely you are not on your own?” She responded that her son was waiting outside in the car so he didn’t have to pay parking charges. I stay with her as long as I can doing what her son should be doing.
Finally got in 45 minutes late. Asked the girls what was wrong. LINAC 1 had broken down and they had a power cut as well. So it’s not my fault after all. Irene can’t put that one down to me.
“Have we given you a bottle?” the radiologist asked. “A bottle of what?” I responded, imagination running riot that I would be getting a bottle of something for having the most fanciable derriere or at least the biggest, or the best patient award.
No it’s a bottle to pee in with its own trumpet to produce a midstream urine sample. Much better than the ones I get from the doctor’s surgery with no trumpet. Apparently you have to pee for a bit then collect 10 mls of golden nectar without stopping. A midstream sample they call it. A recipe for disaster is my own interpretation. Put the top on and then write your name and address on the lable. What! When it is saturated? Should be interesting. Especially the "without stopping" bit. And the 10 mls! I pee buckets not mls! I really do feel a calamity coming on.
