Saturday morning 21st February and I now know I have got an infection in my jaw. I had a major abscess about four years ago and there is swelling and a lump so it’s definitely an infection. I have phoned the hotline and got an answer phone! The pain has lessened but there is a swelling on the left side of my face making my already fatter face fatter if you know what I mean. It also means that the curry night is off.
Got a bit of a pain in my arse when I wipe it – bit like a pile although to be truthful I only ever had one and a couple of doses of preparation H sorted that. My father had an anal fissure and piles and preparation H was his lifeline. How the hell did they find out that shark’s liver shrinks piles? “ OH I’ve just caught a shark. I think I’ll wipe it’s liver on my bum!” My liver certainly wouldn’t, although like the rest of me it is being a lot better looked after these days.
I have been looking on the bowel cancer websites – there are two which is surprising – maybe they should look at amalgamating like MacMillan and Cancerbackup. I was astonished that there had been a bowel cancer awareness week, I pride myself on being in the know and take a keen interest in current affairs but a bowel cancer awareness week has passed me by.
Well I was looking at the genetic implications of cancer and I recalled when my grandfather who was in his eighties and had the onset of dementia was taken into hospital because he had a problem with his bowels.
MY brother was on the ward while they were discussing granddad’s problems. The doctor wanted to give him the camera and Alex (my brother) was trying to persuade him to have the camera. “Twenty five years in the navy,” he roared, “And nothing up my arse then and I ain’t going to start now!” With that he stormed off and laid on his bed. The doctors told Alex that unless he would co-operate there was nothing they could do so he went and told him that he was taking him home. Alex got a bag and started emptying the bedside locker where granddad was laying when a young lad came up and asked him why he was emptying HIS grandfather’s locker!
My grandfather was in the wrong bed and my brother had to apologise profusely. Stan (my grandfather) took to his bed when he got home and refused to eat and drank very little. It took him a long time to die. We will never know what his bowel problem was but it just sows the seeds whether my cancer is genetic – my mother died of breast cancer – and there are other relatives from way back who have died from cancer.
Saturday afternoon 21st February and I have got out of the shopping. The oncology department invited me to go and have a chat with them. “Bring an overnight bag – just in case” I knew my fete was sealed. I drove there – ever the optimist and it became a family day out with Irene and Jonathan as bodyguards.
