This Christmas malarkey continues apace and I suppose it is time for me to add my tuppenceworth. The What Now? Website as a vehicle for my blog has been a godsend. In spite of my cheerful countenance sometimes I do get the Black Dog but just going on What Now? drives it away. I have met some amazing people on this site whose stories have been inspirational. I could make a list but if I missed one off it would be an insult so I won’t. You know who you are!
When I started writing the Demise of Roland Ratso a year ago, I started writing it as a journal of my cancer adventure for my family to look back on if I didn’t or don’t make it. Indeed when I found What Now? as a publishing media I was made up, even when some of the original comments were less than complimentary. “What on earth made you decide to write that rubbish?”
However, the majority of comments have been not only been favourable but my blog has actually inspired and motivated others. I have just written the last sentence with a shiver down my spine and tears in my eyes. Inspired? Motivated? Well we all need a helping hand and I am so privileged to be able to do it. Some comments have said they take my blog to a hospice. Others take it down the pub to read it to their mates. And those of you who read it and never comment as well as those who do; a big thankyou to everyone! You are my support, inspiration and motivation.
When I started my cancer adventure I knew I was going to be OK. Of course that is absolute nonsense. What I felt amongst the rollercoaster of emotions was that whatever this disease threw at me it would all come right in the but that end might not be what I envisaged at the beginning.
The ideal scenario was that it was all a bad dream. More nonsense and the further I went into treatment the more I realised how serious my predicament was becoming.
Every cycle of chemo sickness, tiredness after radiotherapy, radiation burns in my groin and up my arse. Every little incident – and some not so little – underlined my fate. Then the surgeon who discussed my diagnosis without seeing my scans.
All of the after operation crap. Losing my arse in one of the most barbaric life saving operations known. Months of recovery. Small steps! Big operation. And then finally “You are as clear of cancer as we can be sure!”
And the privilege of helping others on the way. What an adventure!
I have said it before and I will continue to say it. “Cancer is not a death sentence. It is a way of life.” It does remind us of our mortality but we are all mortal and perhaps because cancer does remind all of us of our own fragility makes it particularly devastating.
So there it is What Nowers? A very very merry Christmas and a terrific New Year. “LANG MAY YOUR LUM REEK.” AND HERE’S TO US!
KEEP SMILING
IT’S BEEN A PRIVILEGE!
