The small plastic tube that has been inserted doesn’t feel very small at all. The doctor says “I am just going to inflate the catheter = you might feel a little bit of discomfort.”
Metaphorically speaking, of course, they had to peel me off the ceiling. A little bit of discomfort? That must be the understatement of the century. “I am now going to inject the dye” and I feel a liquid not only travelling up my pipe but also all round my nether regions and groin area. “Nothing there” he mused, “I will have to go all the way into the bladder.” No surprise there then! He deflates the catheter and shoves it up a bit more, inflates it and injects some more dye. Then he asks me if I can “Have a wee.” So I strain while he holds a bottle that misses most of it. My back becomes sodden. Now I know why you have to be bollock naked.
“There’s no leaks” he informs me “Would you like to have a look at the pictures?” Not really I think but through my watering eyes I look at the pictures he has taken. “They are very good “ he explains, “Here is your uretha and that is your bladder.” I am so pleased to have become acquainted.
The small steps are brought to the table and I helped to sit up and then I get off the table and go to retrieve my belongings in my plastic bag. The nurse frog marches me back along the miles of corridors – this time in a sodden gown and shows me a shower cubicle where I am given a towel and a soap impregnated sponge. “Wash yourself really well” she tells me “Because the dye becomes very sticky when it dries”
I finish my ablutions and walk out of the Xray department like John Wayne. I just KNOW that I am going to have a major urine infection.
Tomorrow I will tell you about peeing broken glass and a bingo disaster.
_________________________________________________________
