I know what you are all thinking …. About bloody time but to tell you the truth I am knackered just reading about Kezzerbird’s budgie hunt and keeping up with her.
Now where was I. Ah yes – through the gate. I must confess that I have never been to one of the Queen’s garden parties and I am never likely to either. Just choosing the twinset and pearls and a hat to match would be too much for me – Picko would be in his element! Anyway I digress.
Lanz’s TARDIS like garden looks like what I would imagine her Maj’s little plot in the centre of London is like. There were gazebos galore. Another one adorned with all sorts of stoma challenging food. A barbeque. And la piece de la resistance – a bar. With draught bitter and lager and every sort of spirit that you can imagine. So summoning up courage to enter the hallowed portals – encouraged by a shove from Irene we entered and stood there for about ten seconds although it seemed like longer before we were spotted. Kezzer the budgie chasing body boarder probably spotted us first and she didn’t quite know what to do standing up, coming towards us then running back and finally making the approach. Someone shouted “It’s Roland Rat!” Then it was hugs and introductions all round and the biggest compliment anyone has ever paid me in my life – “You look so normal!” Well that is me. Mr. Normal behaviour. Actually the event was much better than Kezzerbabe described. Rose tinted glasses was just a wind up.
What is amazing about it was something that I never ever considered. We were all in the same boat to a greater or lesser extent and that is a great leveller. I am a unique human being – just like everyone else. But there was no treading on eggshells. No creeping around avoiding the subject – or even worse ignoring people and certainly no patronising “And how is he/she today?”
The toasts to Indiechick and Jools were poignant but not overstated and certainly not understated. Basically there were two reasons why I started my blog. One was my mate Ronnie who said that I ought to keep a journal about my treatment and how I was feeling for my grandkids and the second was Indie who wrote it how it is. So I had a go and the rest they say is history.
So there we have it. I want to do it again. We must do it again. (Not necessarily in Lanz’s place) but we must make the effort. One of the saddest things is the number of people who couldn’t attend because they were either too ill or too far away. We need to address that somehow.
So I salute Lanzarote and his wife and everyone who attended – particularly those who said I looked “normal”. Memorable is not the word. Tim wrote on facebook that he had been to a party with some amazing people. I agree. Nuff said.
Looks like things are building up on the medical front. My lung infection has subsided but I can till cough for Britain which has resulted in me rupturing my stoma. Tom-ass is trying to escape. Ungrateful bastard! Irene went to pull a piece of cotton off the back of my trousers – well that was her excuse. “What’s up?” I said, it’s not my bowels handing out of the back of my trousers is it?” Straight into Queen Victoria mode – “We are not amused.” So I have got to go and see my stoma nurse next week and she has already made an appointment to see the surgeon on the 14th October. I have also got an appointment in October to see the eye man to check on my cataract operation which as far as I am concerned has been brilliant.
October 6th is Tim’s 30th birthday (I know I look too young to have a thirty year old --- no don’t answer that!) and I said to him “I would like to take you to Bruges for your thirtieth. There is a pub there that sells 366 different beers and we could work our way through them.” He said that there were two main problems with that. The first is he hasn’t got a passport and the second is that after the first day I would need to spend the rest of the week in bed recovering. “Not if you keep me pissed all the time” I answered. He seemed to think that was very funny. I think it was just realistic.
So now I am off to beddy byes – I have a busy day tomorrow – I have bought a power inverter so I can run my PA system in my car ready to drive round Cotgrave making a lot of noise while the welfare staff chase people with collecting buckets. We were going to push a hospital bed round with a “patient” in it who was going to be made up by the St. John ambulance but one of the opinion formers in our community has said that it would be patronising so we have decided just to go round with the buckets. I think it would be more patronising if we didn’t raise money for Help for Heroes.
