Roland Ratso - the aftermath and you may have missed this so here it is again

I think Jeremy Kyle plays bingo. That's why he is a bellicose belligerent (bit of alliteration there for Debs) ego maniac. Stop press: The car has had the sound system installed on the woof wack and the flags and banners are unfurled. The ambulance has been washed ( the Cotgrave Welfare St. John ambulance - don't worry it's not a real one) and all we need now is our collecting team - the Welfare bar staff babes.

The only problem is Tomass has decided to erupt like an old geyser (what do mean I AM an old geyser?) out of Jellystone national park and I have only got one spare bag with me. Trust him to show me up and after all I have done for him. I let him mess the bed and crap on my Dangermouse slippers and do I complain? Well actually, yes. But St. Irene doesn't - she is a major bloody miracle. Kinda puts bingo in perspective!

I just tested the microphone and one of the welfare members threw himself on the floor with his hands over his ears shouting "Oh no! It's the voices again. I thought I only heard them in supermarkets." Looks like another candidate for the rubber room!

I'm going to try and take some pichures and if I can I will put some on this site. I have two problems with that. One is I am running pentium programs but only have a ZX 80 chip and the other is I have the technology but no effing brains to use it! Watch this space. Well not this space exactly. But another space. Very similar to this one. But obviously not this one. But it will be my space. Well not exactly mine. I will be borrowing it off Macmillan's. Well maybe not borrow. Sort of use it for a while. Then again I suppose I won't be able to upload or download my pichures. Or maybe I will. But it will be luck if I do it. And I won't remember how to do it again. Or maybe I will. Who knows. Tomorrow is another day and I once had a cousin who worked for C&A in Aberdeen but she got made redundant but what's that got to do with anything? Well quite a lot to do with her coz she liked her job. But then don't we all. Well some us don't. I suppose. Or maybe they do. What the hell am I on about? Well I don't know either. But then again maybe I do. Or if I don't - do you, dear reader. Right I'm off before this computer runs out of letters. By letters I don't mean things that go in enevelopes and are delivered by the postman but more Times New Roman point 12 characters or something.

Keep smiling

love

Drew

X