Picko the chef with George Formby the Griller - note missing knob (which didn't make any difference)
Months before we started to plan our trip Picko had waxed lyrical about his George Formby Griller and how it could do everything except make tea and warm soup. In between bingo sessions at the welfare he would regale us how he cooked enough sausages for everyone and how Tony Blackbum had given it to him personally. We found his boasting a tad tiresome but in the end he won and the Formby took pride of place in the galley of our palatial craft. Well most of the Formby. Because one of the control knobs fell off into the hoggin’ as he was bringing it down the gangplank to get it on to the boat. “Oh flip” cursed Picko under his breath “Never mind it will still work but that’s only the temperature regulator and we don’t need that anyway! It’s always on full.”
Now breakfast can usually happen in one of two ways. You can either eat it in shifts as you are going along or if you have got plenty of time, all sit down together which is what we did to watch Picko and George grilling an assortment of pieces of pig, mushrooms and eggs to accompany the healthy option – beans and tomatoes.
I suppose I should mention butcher Bill – Bill Roberts. We gave our order in for some breakfast supplies and he gabe us nearly more than we could carry so the George Formby had lots to go at.
The ribbing and mickey-taking changed to admiration as Picko deftly cooked sausage after sausage to perfection along with slices of everything else “Betcha can’t do fried bread” No problem to Picko and George. He could fry all of Warburton’s daily production - no bother. The only problem with George was that he ran of Lillia’s separate Generator and when he was switched on you could really hear the engine labour.
So having availed ourselves of George’s hospitality we went to start off on our journey but not before we saw Picko being profligate with the Fairy liquid. “Picko, Picko, Picko” shoued Alex. “No more than half a thimble full – there’ll be that many bubbles we’ll have to turn the boat upside down to get rid of them!”
“Drew’s already tried to do that” retorted Picko. (I personally do find professional jealously so destructive.)
It was then that we learned about Picko’s housekeeping prowess.
I must confess that Lillia was a bit harder to handle than I envisaged. Or maybe the chemo brain has addled me so much that I was hallucinating. Bridges, lock walls, trees – in fact everyhting seemed to jump in the way. Afterwards Picko and Alex told me they were running a book on how hard I would hit something (miss, slight, medium or fucki' hell!) – very easy for them when I was sixty feet away. I think one problem was that we asked for a narrowboat and they must have given us a full fat one!
However, one time, even Lillia excelled herself when Alex and Picko were “down below” making the tea. Something jumped out at Lillia with such force that a whole cup of scalding hot tea got spilled down Picko’s back. Oh how we laughed. Well not at the time, you must understand. But afterwards. Long afterwards. Why even by the end of the week Picko stopped complaining about the scalds to his back and had started talking to me. Well grunting.
Ill be back!
