“Pershore is an unspoiled, picturesque Market Town, famed for its elegant Georgian architecture and magnificent Abbey” or so the guide book says. Well it might but on a Tuesday night Pershore’s Georgian architecture was basically abandoned. As were its hostelries. Where were a bunch of roughy toughy boatmen fresh from a roughy toughy day on the river hauling freight. OK so the only thing were hauling was our tortured bodies (some larger than others) and Picko’s new autumn collection, but you get my jist.
The first hostelry we came across, whose name escapes me, had their only inmate walking out as we walked in. “Was it something we said?” I doubt it. Was it our countenance of four swarthy men of the sea? Probably not. The welcome was about as welcoming as a bust stoma bag in a wetsuit. It was a managed house and the manager simply didn’t want to manage but undeterred us trepid adventurers made our way to the bar to examine the ample selection of real ales and other products. Ever the buccaneers we chose Bishop’s Tipple – mainly because Bishop’s finger is a rather fine Shepherd Neame bottled beer from Kent. The Kent Bishop’s Finger is named after the village signs that stick out from posts allegedly in the shape of a Bishop’s Finger. (The sign not the post.) Well I would liked to have used two of my fingers to describe the Bishop’s Tipple.
Wadworth breweries description - BISHOPS TIPPLE 5.5% ABV
The Bishop's Tipple has been a legend amongst ale drinkers ever since it was originally brewed to commemorate George Reindorp's appointment as Bishop of Salisbury.
"This blessed beer at 5.5% ABC will be my undoing....It's so damnably refreshing, a temptress with it's pale, golden hue and soft after palate from those tantalising Saaz and Styrian Goldings hops giving the beer that divine drinkability. I crave for the indulgence to once again let that clean, golden liquid pass my lips... though I fear I will forsake this beguiling tipple of mine all too soon."
Well it certainly Picko’s undoing – an epicure with a discerning palate much more used the refined taste of the best wines from Cotgrave Welfare’s cellar. ( Well four pints of bitter and a game of bingo....)
Our next hostelry was the Angel Hotel. Georgian it may be but there was nothing Georgian about the prices. A pleasant enough bar with change from £15 (just) for a round of four drinks.
We did travel on to another hostelry whose name escapes me and then it was back to the boat for some sleep. Not likey! Picko the party animal woke up. “Get the glasses Sandy, we are having a drink. And so we did until Tom-ass decided to make his presence felt. An eruption of the greatest magnitude. I retired to my stateroom at the back of the boat to complete a damage report.
Incidentally i must explain a little of the professional jealousy that was rife in our crew. I insisted on the aft cabin near the wet room in case of Ton-ass’s indiscretions. I also suggested to the crew that it was helpful if they didn’t poo in the toilet so we didn’t have to have a pump out – it was best to do it in a pub (toilet) or a public one. This was interpreted by my brother as “The man with no arsehole has told us we can’t have a shit!”
Anyway back to the damage report. I wear a long T shirt to keep everything in which is probably why I didn’t notice it before the esshaitchonetee hit the proverbial fan. My T shirt – a new one from Sportsworld was totalled and had to join the rest of Tom-ass productions in a black bag.
Eventually we went to be after the complaints had subsided and woke much refreshed except Ron who had many altercations with his bed through the night.
Morning saw us awake bright and early to see Picko work a minor miracle on his George Formby Griller. An appliance which he claims he won from Tony Blackbum.
I’ll be back.
