this is the first time i have ever written a blog.a year ago they told m i had cancer.after ct scans mri,sand other test they removed my breast and lyph nods under my arm.everything was fine.had my chemo laughted with my daughters about wigs ,and al the money i would save on shampoo,deodarant,and not having to shave,they must have bought me a scarf for every day off theweek even my sons got in on the act with silly hats,i hav to say we had some laughs along the way.so when radiotheraphy came along i thought this is a breeze a walk in the park.now we have herceptin once every three weeks its 11 down and 8 togo over half way there sounds better.only problem is the person who laughed stood strong .alwayssmiled and told everyone its ok seems to have gone.i think that when everything calmed down i had time to think and suddenly i realised icould have lost everything that was important to me i have a husband who has been with me every step off this joruney and has changed he now cooks can work the washing machine and does many otherthings.i have 5childern 3boys 2girls who i am very close to and am glad they could talk to each other and supoort each other.then my beautiful grandchildern 2girls one born 3days afteri was told i had cancer and one grandson.a lot to be thankful for.today i have my fist mamoramg since last year so if there is a god up there let it be clear i have prayed alot lately not something i hav done a lot in my life.my daughter tells me when i look back at the last year i should be proud off how far i have comeand in the words off dora the exploreryou did it.but at this moment in time all i feel is lost.from the outside everything looked strong and o the inside i seem to be slowly falling apart bit by bit.i no this much before i would have said my life was so.so.now i reelise it was pretty good and that the small things dont stress me any more they,ll come right.i,m moanig when i should be grateful.i did learn avery important lesson there is no right way or wrong way to deal with cancer just your way.
