It’s two weeks now since my Lumpectomy and Lymph Node Clearance and I am feeling quite proud that I have got through this far – although I am acutely aware that cancer can be a very long road and I am still only just buckling my seatbelt.
Still, every little helps… One step at a time and all of that….
After being so bruised, swollen and battered after my diagnosis visit – 3 sets of mammograms, ultrasounds and six biopsies - I’d had trouble even raising my arm and my boob was so swollen I had to go and buy new seam/wire free, crop top bras - two sizes up - to accommodate my discomfort. So, for my operation my expectation was that the pain would be very much the same, plus caring for one or possibly two wounds depending on how the surgeon managed on the day.
As a result, before my op most of my practical attention was devoted to how I was going to keep a wound in my armpit clean and healthy, when I couldn’t lift my (primary) left arm and I had a drain tube coming out from under my arm too… And yes, that was a problem as was ‘living’ constantly tethered to the tube and bag. The surgeon had said several times ‘ just don’t catch it on a doorhandle’ – you get that don’t you? I can feel you cringing too!
When I was getting prepared to come home after the operation there was only one thought on my mind. How are you are supposed to get yourself into a post op bra with a tube and sore wound - let alone get dressed! I was thankful that 2 days before my op – I’d gone to Asda and bought two huge soft, stretchy pyjama tops – so pressure on my arm pit with seams was non-existent because of the size; and the extra room around the neck meant I could get my top on without having to move my shoulder or arm too far. The post op bra – I swear to God – I thought would never come off or go on ever again!
Getting dressed and what to wear - sore arm pit wise - was in fact the biggest challenge of all (and still is!). Second only to working out how to sit in the car on the way home from hospital! Top tip: have a range of cushions/pillows of different sizes to add padding where it’s needed and consider which side is best for the seat belt before you’re stood out in the rain! And when you get out in the dark – make sure your tube isn’t caught up in the seatbelt! Ouch!
Thankfully for at least the first 48 hours for me, being clean didn’t even register! My surgical stockings were left on nicely festering while I whirred around in a sea of pain killers, quickly learning that if I didn’t move, it didn’t hurt. The biggest actual challenge was reading the level of ooze in the bag for the morning call from the breast clinic and quickly realising that as the previously vac-packed bag slowly expanded the reading level would vary from day to day. So, estimating quickly became a thing – although thankfully it seemed that didn’t matter too much. I’d worried about being responsible for the drain – but it was clear as the days went by that it was oozing less and the colour was changing in the right direction.
From day 3, I moved a little more day by day, but I did need help with washing. I did this sat on a stool in front of the basin with a soft flannel and the help of a lovely friend. Getting undressed, changed, dressed was very painful, a huge effort and totally exhausting. I’d time washing with taking the painkillers, to try and minimise pain.
By day 5, sitting in a shallow bath felt do-able and that was fantastic. I managed with a stool by the side of the bath to support the drain and only using a small (light) towel to dry myself. And taking my time. Still alternating my two massive Asda t-shirts.
I started the exercises around day 3 – tiny movements were so painful, and this was very frustrating for a ‘Davina’ addict! I worried about how this would progress – but it has. Little by little my range of motion has slowly improved. Remember ladies – use it or lose it!
On day 5, I had the drain removed: A process not as uncomfortable as I’d feared – expertly directed with my exhale by the ever-experienced breast care nurse. It was lovely being without the bag, suddenly so much freedom.
While I had thought several times that without the bag that ooze still had to go somewhere – I hadn’t quite thought through what that may feel like – especially now, without lymph nodes. Over the next few days my still totally numb arm, underarm and boob felt tight, swollen, and uncomfortable. And in some ways, this was more exhausting that the initial days after the operation. I had that constant ache back and just couldn’t get comfortable no matter what I did. Sleep wasn’t great, everything felt sore. It was like having two hot balls rubbing together under your arm. I’d say for me, because of this, days 5-10 of recovery were the worst – I think not helped by the fact that on week 2, I’d felt I should’ve been able to do more.
I resorted to massaging my sore, numb areas (except the wound) with Aveno cream + a few drops of Geranium Essential Oil morning and night - this provided instant short-term relief to the ‘heat’ and the increasing soreness that feels like sunburnt skin. Getting changed was becoming easier and so the effort of doing this was worth it.
I have noticed over the last few days that this soreness has slowly morphed into the sensation returning on the top of my arm and that this area is feeling less swollen – so maybe the feeling of sunburn is nerve pain? As I write on day 15 post op – I have the same soreness on the underside of my arm, in my armpit and around my boob – so I wonder if feeling will return here next.
Nevertheless, overall, I am feeling good and recovering well – I think. I have kept up with the exercises and have been rewarded by gradually increasing the mobility in my shoulder and arm. I have even managed to get down on my yoga mat and do some gentle stretches which have been a great mental boost – as that feels like a bit of normality. Though no plank or downward dog anytime soon, I’ve managed to relieve my aching (because on inactivity) back with some cat/cow, modified child’s pose (tucking my operation arm in), gentle forward folds and an array of (slow), spinal exercises on my back that don’t put any pressure on my arm. It feels so great to be on the mat – albeit only gently.
I did a few hours of work from home today. Sitting as a desk was not great – so I have resorted to laptop on sofa with arm supported – by the wonderful heart-shaped cushion the breast care unit gave me. I do feel a little sore tonight for having done it, but I will have some paracetamol, apply the Aveno and Geranium Oil, sleep and try again tomorrow. It’s good to feel normal and work – and I think if I listen to my body, I hope I can now gradually get back to more.
