3rd attempt

Oh Kev, I saw your attenpts to blog so had to come and see what appeared in the end! Are you doing  create a new blog post or create a new blog.. those 2 buttons are confusing and you can't post on the new blog one, jus the post one.. anyway...

I'm sorry to hear you are hurting...

Its a hard one that.... I know what you mean. I think people don't want to face the reality as it is too painful for them to face.. I have had the same with friends... I think our kids know  deep down though whatever we say or do and however a brave face we put on, they know.. cos they care so so much and worry. I guess we want to protect them from the worry   I would guess that he knows really but wanting to say well done you for dealing so well with it... and positive is sometimes easier for kids than facing reality of parents hurting.

My son is 20. We had the might die conversation and he knew I was on morphine and that but I hid the fear from him. My way is your kids don't need to see you scared and you  need to show them its ok to deal with stuff but they ought to know what the stuff was. So he would joke about his mum being on smack and I would tell him not to worry and he said he wasn't... but of course he was.

I think your son probably doesn't know what to say... and is just damn glad to have his dad out the other side of things doing ok.(well done for that by the way!)  Maybe next time, joke with him that you want your oscar for acting.... and ask him if he knew you were protecting him or not. He's a big boy he might appreciate the conversation.

Hope you get it sorted. 

Little My x 

Thank you ladies for your advice but I may just kick his bloody head in next time he comes up(if he'll let me lol) so much goes through your head even when you think your through the worst, on a wimpy note, I just wanted to tell him that I had gone through all the pain and sh one t that his mates had told him about  but could'nt do it! protective to the end us parents, suffer in silence, then come on here and SHOUT! lol PS someone should really write instructions for posting for newcomers, it's not hard but theres no instructions! (for us idiots) x Kev

Well, you could always do that first and then have the chat when he's on the floor.. :-)

They used to have a guide on how to write blogs.. probably need a guide on how to find the guide though... Looks like you have got the hang of it now?

Little Myx

Hi Kev

Will you be quick enough to catch him first lol. Congrats on your results x

Between Dave and I we have 4 kids, aged 33-39. the two middle ones are my sons. The most supportive of them was no.1 son.  Durring the first few months after surgery and RT his daughter and son would visit at least once a week and phone, now we only see daughter if we visit or go away with the caravan, his son doesnt even phone. Sad but thats how they are. My boys are the opposite, no.1 son rings 3-4 times a week and we see him at least 3 times a month (has own family, works in London so gets home late too) has offered to pay private to get Dave better. No.2 son struggles with illness and doesnt know what to say or do but has phoned and called in regular. Ive always been truthful with my boys probably more than others would have been but held bits back that I thought would do no good what so ever.

Dave has always shielded the family, I let them know what is important, but to be fare, everything your going through is important, the pain, the tears the sleepless nights, the lonely times in the middle of the night. You know your son better than us..if you feel he could cope with the truth then tell him.

Doesnt matter how much you try to shield them, deep down they know there is more than you let on.

If it sounds like a rant and a telling off  then Im sorry, not my intention at all.

Good luck with whatever you decide and again congrats on your results

Shaz(((xx)))