Laughter and doubts

I have just come back from a Truckfest weekend in Peterborough. I have had a wonderful weekend with friends and enjoyed every minute. (didnt enjoy being cold in the caravan though but it was better than a tent) Even went on the fun fair. Everyone was getting ready to catch my wig but it stayed on, thank god. Its been the most normal weekend that I have had since January and I cant thank my friends enough. I do feel uncomfortable now though if I dont take my lansaprozole, I get pains in my chest etc so I must not forget to take it!!!!!!!!! I was concentrating that much on not forgetting the chemo tablets that I forgot them!! never again. Has ECX effected anyone else like this? I am back at home now and next week I am being interviewed by our local newspaper. I want them to raise awareness of oesophageal cancer, the signs and symptoms. they are also posting my race for life details so hopefully I can raise more money for cancer research. I feel I need a goal to concentrate on and raising money can only be good for everyone involved. I have also got in touch with our local day hospice for some complimentary therapy and hopefully that will start when I come back from hols. Everyone is entitled to this but not alot of people know about it. I thought relaxation would help me so I just phoned up and asked what they offer so they too are coming next week. Even though I feel really well at the moment I find it hard to ignore the niggles and twinges I feel. Mentally I think this cancer is bigger than I am and I am at its mercy. I hope I can beat it and give it a bloody good beating on the way but I think there will always be a shadow of doubt. I pray that my glands will clear so I can have the surgery and be cured of this bastard disease. I dont want it to rob me of time with my boys. My wonderful, hubby Marcus, son Andy and golden retreiver Dillon. My PMA is still here though, just feeling it today, probably tired. My GP phoned today to tell me that I am anaemic so I need some iron tablets. Great, now I have constipation to look forward to too!! Oh well, will plod on and have plenty of fruit. I have also been in touch with the rep from the Oesophageal Patients Association and was glad to fill her in on some details with regards to complimentary therapies and look good feel better sessions. They meet every three months and the next one is 4th July at Wragby so I shall go along and meet some new people which will be nice. I hope eveyone is as good as they can be. The sun is shining outside so I'm going to potter in the garden and tidy up a little. Love to all x Joanne