That is the most scared I have been for years!! We began the journey to the hospital at 9.30am for an 11.00 appointment Bit better than the 6.30 start on Monday for the portacath to be inserted, but nonetheless after a sleepless night, early enough.
Although I have been through second-hand experience of chemo when my mother was treated some 25 years ago, this time for my husband, the feeling of overwhelming despair was enormous. The hospital were great when we arrived but annoyingly we had to wait in reception for half an hour before being seen which added to the nerves, but the lovely nurse soon put us at ease and my husband and I were taken into this semi-circular room around which were lots of high backed chairs (which could be reclined). In each chair sat someone hooked up to their chemotherapy drugs - a most sobering and humbling experience.
After seeing the Prof and his team, where everything was explained about the procedure and consent forms signed, it was finally hubby's turn to be hooked up. I am so impressed with the portacath, where after a little fiddling the line was attached and through this went the steroids and washes before the first two huge phials of pink chemo were slowly pushed through. Then the second chemo drug which was in a small container, was attached to the portacath and this is to stay in place for one week, to be replaced for another week next Thursday. Then two weeks free before starting all over again.
We have been told that there is no guarantee this will get rid of the tumours, but if the smaller tumours do disappear then they might operate to take away the larger one, but right now the aim is to stop the cancers growing and effectively kill off the cells. Hubby was not happy that - he expects it to be gone and gone forever!
Going home on the underground and mainline train was eventful, as the tubing from the portacath could clearly be seen from under hubby's shirt - everyone gave us a very wide berth on the trains. When we got home we tried to tape up the offending wires but then panicked as we could not see the drugs going through.
This morning, still concerned, hubby has returned to the hospital to get them to check out everything is in order as neither of us could see the fluid going through - first night nerves I guess!! But this time hubby went on his own, and I am so nervous waiting for him to come home, hence this blog!!
I am so angry - I want to go out and should at the youngsters I see smoking STOP!!! It is not now it is 20 years along the line that you will most likely be suffering the effects and putting people you love through the trauma of watching you suffer..... then I calm down... but it is stirred up by seeing all those chairs and all those drip stands - and I am angry again!!!!!
This weekend is my birthday and that of my son who was born on the same date as me... we always celebrate birthdays in my family big-time, so although hubby has been told to lay off alcohol except for maybe a glass of wine twice a week, I am sure we will be raising a glass to the defeat of the enemy!!
Just had a call to say they have checked everything out, told us to weigh the chemo bottle today, tomorrow and Sunday and if the weight has not gone down to return to the hospital to get it checked again. No like this!!!!!!!
