So I'm outside the place, waiting for my husband to arrive. Coming out of the tube station, my emotions give in and I get very tearful. The portacath area is still quite sore so I guess I wasn't ready to drive yet as the seatbelt lay exactly where the tube is, but I did this morning and I got my wig too. I needed it tonight, at home. It was quite a painful drive to the shopping centre (where the wig was) and then back to the train station to park. The seatbelt was rubbing on the tube and I tried to ignore it and focused on the short 10min drive.
Walking down the street, I call my mum, in tears. I tried my best not to as I did not want to worry her more but we talked and manage to calm myself as I take that long walk down the street.
My husband has turned up. We are still half an hour early but I think a nice latte and cookie in their waiting room may calm me a little. Ok, heading in.
While in the waiting room, a lady walks last with a bald head. She is tall and pretty and had a beautiful shaped head. Not sure I can carry off that look, I'm the total opposite, short with a big head which is probably odd shaped and massively overweight. Then I choke on my coffee as started crying again, in a busy waiting room.
A few minutes later, we are called down into the treatment suite. I was shown my cubicle which was in my direct view, horror filled me, I started crying as I walked towards it. The cubicle was nice, dark wood panels with a cream leather chair on the centre. My legs felt wobbly. The nurses looked at my portacath and said that the surgeon lady week should have left the needle in as putting a needle in now may risk infecting the healing wound. They may have to out a cannula in anyway. After getting a second opinion, they decided it was healing enough for them to access. As it was running late, they did not put any numbing cream on as we would have to wait a other half hour. At this point I was crying out loudly and hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe. They got me a tablet to calm my nerves and another patient in the next cubicle came to chat and distract me while the nurse went straight in and pierced the skin to gain direct access to the port. The worse part over. Now I would need need an hour of the freezing coldcap, 3 lots of drips (anti histamine/steroids and something else) then the chemo would go in for an hour.
The coldcap was not as unbearable as I thought, it might not even work but it might delay the hair loss for a lithe while. It was -5c but was tolerable, I just had a dull headache , like continuous brain freeze but that was about it.
Chemo went in at around 3.45-4.45. It looked like any other drip but I knew the toxic substance was now entering every vein ok my body. I was given a menu and was presented with a lovely looking chicken salad with a fruit smoothie and endless puts of tea/coffee/lattes which all came with pack of cookies on the saucer.
The hour went quick. I had to keep the coldcap on for 1 more hour. They talked me through possible side effects which I need to look out for over the next few days, with a descriptive chart full of colours and if I get any symptoms in red, I have to call immediately. I was given a big bag of drugs to take home.
Ready to leave and go home shortly. Steroids have given me a bit of a buzz so let's get home before it all wears off!
