I keep looking at this site and have finally plucked up the courage to ask for some advice. My dad was diagnosed with final stage pancreatic cancer at the beginning of Aug and has been given a timescale from between 8 - 12 weeks. He has lived in Spain for the last 26 years. My mum passed away from liver disease only a year and a half ago and I know we have all struggled to come to terms with that before receiving this other horrible blow. My dad now lives in Spain on his own so between myself and my sister, we have been taking it in turns to fly out and help dad through this horrible time as much as we can. We are struggling...............For the first two weeks after diagnosis, we had to watch my dad suffer a lot of pain until the correct pain relief was found and this was stabilised. He is now on Fentanyl patches. We breathed a sigh of relief. Then dad developed edema in his feet and legs that ended up turning to sepsis as he refused to go into hospital for them to be looked at (my mum also had edema as part of her diseased liver and went into hospital to have her stomach and legs drained.......she never came out of hospital because of other complications). We're both trying to understand how he must be feeling and are just trying to be there for him during these ups and downs. His edema has now been treated and antibiotics have been given for the sepsis so he is feeling more or less "back to normal" and out of pain other than his lack of appetite and severe weight loss. We're now trying to cope with a denial stage that he seems to be going through and this has been the hardest thing so far. In the last couple of days he's bought a new washing machine, new tv and I've just been advised by text today from my sister who is currently in Spain that he has taken himself out to buy a new car!!!!!!! We're both worried sick that he is driving on his own and also that we will be left to sort out the sale of all these new items, together with the current household items and his two properties in Spain when he has passed away. Neither of us have any savings to pay for bills etc and are already facing a huge tax bill equal to 25% of the full inheritance (this has to be paid within 6 months from date of death). Everything is getting on top of me at the moment. I'm obviously devastated about dad, trying to cope with the loss of mum, trying to organise my own life around flying back and forth to Spain whilst holding down a job, seeing my dad going through all the trauma of cancer and also now worrying about the financial side of things afterwards.......... I just need some positive advice. I'm scared of making myself ill next with the stress of everything...... Any advice will be greatly received!!!!
