I have just come in to let off a lil steam before my head explodes and if that happened I would probably be on the news as a suicide bomber as I have several bolts holding my bonce together and they could do some damage if expelled at high velocity!!!!!! Queens hospital operate a system whereby when I see my oncologist I then go straight to the check-in desk (no nothing like the airport ones - no smiley faces for a start ) and make my next appointment before I leave. They then try to arrange for my MRI to be fitted in just before my next appointment. This works fairly well, except I usually have a 2 or more week wait for results, which KILLS ME! In August I had a 15 day wait, which was pretty stressful, on top of the burst vein I was given during the contrast being pumped in through my hand......so my nurse suggests I don't book the appointment with my onc, just wait for the MRI appointment to come through & then ring her & she will try to get an appointment a little sooner. Sounds good eh. Well I have my MRI appointment for Monday 7th February at 9am - already stressing badly this time as not only is it 2 years post surgery and I am heading towards what they think should be my expiry date, but I've been having some pains behind my right eye.....not headaches and nothing like the symptoms I had before my brain surgery but little niggly 'aches'. Could be making a mountain out of a molehill but you know how the mind works. I digress, I had left myself notes everywhere reminding me to call my nurse & get this appointment with my onc booked. Ring up, my nurse is at Uni all day, but a lovely lady in the same office offered to ring my oncs secretary and book it. She took my home number & I explained that I was going shopping with my disabled sister, so would be some time.......no worries, they will leave a message on my answer phone. Get home, no message so now have to try and remember to phone oncs secretary & see if its done. My onc is lovely, terrible time-keeping but lovely, the same can not be said of her secretary however. Firstly she tells me, "I've already sent you a letter. I tried to call but you weren't in" (almost like how dare you be out!), I explained that I had already told the other lady I probably would be and she assured me its not a problem as you'd leave a message, I am only ringing because there was no such message. "We aren't allowed to do that! Anyone could hear your business!"....and I am thinking, well sheesh, not like my family don't know about a little brain surgery, rt & chemo is it..........afterall, its so easy to hide Anyway, my next oncology appointment is February 18th........oh I said disappointed. "I think I might just do it the usual way next time, as it doesn't make much difference" meaning, its only 4 days quicker than the routine way. "Oh, alright then" she snaps and put the phone down. Now instead of being angry at her attitude, I am sat here worrying that I said something wrong to upset her.......I know I am super-sensitive at the moment, ask my hubby, he's either getting in the neck over silly things or I am bursting into tears........over the tiniest things. I know I get stressed every time.....but this time its just worse for some reason. Right, I feel a bit better........got it off my chest............now I need to do my daily exercise and walk to Tesco's and spend some money! Thought for today:
!
this little fella has just started to visit us in the last week or two, he comes every day now!
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness.
Richard Carlson
