Having a bit of a wobble
Well Buttercup and I have been co-existing quite well for some time and apart from the 'sparse spot' where my hair once was and the fact I have a memory like Dorey from Finding Nemo, we get along just fine. Now as many of you know, I will have to have MRI's every 3-6 months for the rest of my life and even after a few, it doesn't get any easier!
My next appointment is on August 5th, but it came through at a different hospital. I know it shouldn't matter, but I don't handle change very well anymore. I like the fact we know where to park, where to find the MRI department within the circular maze that is Queens. Now we have to start all over at King George which I have no clue about never been there etc. So silly as it is, the stressing has started, also the little nagging thoughts of......"will she be back this time?" have started to creep in. I feel incredibly well at the moment but I know that is not a really a particularly medical or scientific sound basis of diagnosis!!!
It's my 18th wedding anniversary on Sunday and my lovely husband has booked us to stay at that 5* hotel we often go to do the karate courses. His partner in crime at the karate club is head of security there and helped him organise it. I am booked in for a massage (after our friend had a chat to the spa ladies to see what would be best for me) now instead of feeling excited I am dreading it, for two reasons.....never had a massage (that doesn't bother me) but when I've seen the tables on the telly, they have a whole cut out for your face........well with me having two titanium bolts on my forehead which are VERY tender if pressed (glaucoma tests at the opticians are a killer cos the metal bar rests on one of them and as they puff the air into the eye, you flinch and bang the bloomin bolt right on the bar - everytime!).
So more stress and then the thought of having to strip down.....sheesh talk about mrs wobbly bits!!! I am sure it will be delightful and relaxing and .........well oh I dont know. Then we will have dinner in one of their beautiful restaurants and on Sunday apart from Tony nipping off to the karate course (hmmmmm wonder if thats why we got booked in there 
) we are then being taken to lunch in the Stables restaurant with Paul & his wife Sheila.
So all in all I have a fabulous weekend ahead of me before the torturous MRI = oh yeah don't forget they can never get a vein up and that always ends up being a painful and unpleasant part of what essentially doesn't bother me laying down for half hour listening to crappy music lol. Then to top it off, I am since chemo finished allergic to the plastic dressing that holds the canula in place and any other thing they try to put on after except a humble plaster (which they never seem to have any of).
I feel quite ungrateful worrying about the massage but unless you have tender bolts in your head, you can't really explain to people how that feels.........and that I have written a whole blog generally moaning about poor old me! Which as you know isn't really my thing but we all have our fears and MRI's and then 15 days of waiting for the results is one of mine (along with spiders!!!!!).
I am not really a grumpy moany ungrateful hag and I AM looking forward to wandering around the beautiful grounds of the hotel, having some quality alone time with the hubby and taking several hundred photo's (prob none of Tony & me lol) and I know they are simply little things that I am blowing out of proportion.........ah just ignore me, my kids do LOL
Thought for today:
“FEAR is an acronym in the English language for "False Evidence Appearing Real"
Neale Donald Walsch
