Monday day one of my last five day cycle of oral chemo (for now anyway), got up, got the kids and hubby up, made a cuppa and did the lunches, dished out uniform and took my anti-sickness tablet. Saw the last child off just after 8am and went to take my 240mgs of Temodar. Now I know 5 tablets rattle around in a bottle, but I wish they wouldn't pad it with cotton wool, takes me fricken ages getting that stuff out and I have little fingers! So swallowed my two poisonous capsules with a large coke cola glass full of Mexican Lime Cordial - I have found this really masks the nasty backdraught taste of the chemo tabs. Now I have to watch the clock and in another hours time, I can take my steroid with some breakfast.
Thought I would give you little background, this week one year ago I was suffering the most horrendous headaches. I've always been a headachey person, when I started my peroids I also got migraines, every 28 days without fail. Grew out of the migraines by late teens but still got headaches "monthly". I have worn glasses/ contact lenses since the age of 21 and have always 'presumed' that my frequent headaches was down to poor eyesight etc. Anyway I just lived with them. However during November 2008 the headaches became so severe that 6 ibruprofen, or paracetamol or Neurofen didn't even touch them. So what did I do? Nuffink! I got up, went to work with 18 x 2-3 year olds screaming for 3 hours each day. Came home did the motherly & wifey duties and still managed to attend all the kids karate lessons and competitions. It had become a joke that headache tablets were Mummies version of sweets!
I am telling you this because Friday 27th November 2009 will mark the 1 year anniversary of me having a "tonic clonic seizure" which basically mean't I was laying flat on my face in my front garden flapping like a fish for a good 10-15mins! It will also mark the final day of my chemo - until the brain tumour starts to reappear or things change. I am very unsure how I feel about this anniversary coming up and I will write more of that later in the week.
Anyway, I lost 4 hours on ebay yesterday and I am laying the blame squarely at the feet of another member here who shall not remain anonymous JEWELS lol. She left a suggestion on the Christmas Gift forum thread I started .... mind you I should thank her, I bought two xmas pressies yesterday and for a bargain price too! I did 3 loads of washing and dispersed them over the radiators throughout the house and airers. I washed up and tidied the kitchen, we have a few dodgy kitchen draws - the kitchen is on its last legs bless but money as it is (non-existant) we soldier on, and I opened our toot draw (does everyone have one of these in their kitchen or just me?) you know you find hairbands, safety pins, purses...things kids leave lying around etc and as I shut it, it dropped down slightly which had a domino effect pushing the sandwich toaster off the shelf in the cupboard below, which caught Ollie's food bowl on its way to the floor scattering Pedigree Puppy dry mix all over the kitchen!!!! So dustpan and brush and 10 minutes of my precious life I'll never get back later you wouldn't have known anything had happened!
I watched the crappy Aussie soaps, because I have become addicted and before I knew it the family was coming home. The boys fought over the PS3 and I started the dinner. Lara & Tony had tortellini pasta...Lara had fresh pesto on hers, Tony had Carbonara. Jack, Sean & Myself had spag bol (but I have to strain the sauce so there's no bits in it grrrrrrr) and we all shared some garlic bread. The boys (inc Tony) took turns on Call of Duty and came off in time for IACGMOOH. I recorded Flash Forward and have a few programmes I can curl up on the sofa and watch if I feel rough later this week.
Had a slight headache all afternoon, just Buttercup letting me know she hasn't forsaken me completely! But by the time I went to bed at 10.15pm it had gone - yaaaaaaaaaaay. Here's where the fun began, I have become comfortable enough to lay on my front again if I turn my head to the right. I have a titanium bolt (one of a few holding my skull together) on the right hand side of my forehead, you can't see it but its easily felt under the skin. This and another one of the right side of the top of my head are not sore and I don't know they are there unless I touch them - yes I know what you're thinking - DON'T TOUCH THEM THEN! - but if I lay on my right side, even on a soft pillow the skin moves over the bolts and its hard to describe, not painful, just uncomfortable. Anyway, I am lying on my front and Ollie walks up and down my legs and then sits on my bum or in the small of my back. Stays for a few mins like he is guarding me and then does another patrol up and down my legs and back to sitting on my bum! This went on until 11.45pm when I finally got up. Grabbed my pillow and spare quilt and headed downstairs, Tony offered but I can nap during the day - he can't. I nodded off fairly quickly, but woke at 2.30pm needing a wee (another side-effect of the chemo is having to drink lotsa liquid and what goes in - must come out, mostly during the night it would seem). Took ages to get back to sleep and before I know it, my alarm is going off at 7am.....NOOOOOO I am not ready!
my absolute favourite flower - irises
Thought for today:
You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
Barbara De Angelis
