Hi my name is Lauren and i've recently found out my Mum has Cancer i dont know how to deal with this in all honesty!! I want to kick scream shout and go mad!! I hate myself in a way as i think because of all the stress and stuff i have put her through in the past it's kinda my fault she has it, because i have to be honest i was and still am the child from Hell!! I mean i'm 18 years old i need to grow up!! But i'm trying but i cant see to get the old lazy argumentative sod out of me! i'm going to be there for her through out it all and will care for her and give her kisses and cuddles whenever she need's them, But how am i going to do this when i can hardly cope with what's going on, my problem is i show emotion through anger unlike my Sister Kerry who's 20 dosent show emotion at all...her friends are telling me Oh you need to realise your sister is going through the same as you why should you get all the attention??? WHAT??!!! Attention!! For god sake i dont want attention i just dont want my Mum to die of Cancer!! What is wrong with everyone? I could'nt care less if no-one even spoke to me ever again as long as my Mum got better! I hate the way people presume just because my Sister dosent show how she feel's it's because no-one cares! I care!!....Infact i care alot!!!! When something like this happens it truley makes you realise how much i need my Sister and my Dad Infact all my family. It also makes you realise how much i need my Mum...It didnt make me realise how much i love her because i love her so much anyway that if it was a feeling like pain i would be dead!! If anything My Mum is my best friend and how could i live without her!! All i know is my Mum is healthy young and strong and if anything she wont go without a fight!! xxx
Growing up is much tougher these days and having to deal with that as well as your mothers cancer is not going to be easy for you, which you have worked out for yourself so you have already taken one step forward. Anger is a natural reaction but the only person it hurts is yourself so try to be positive and be there for your mum and share your love with her and come on here and let rip so that you can park up your negative feelings, you should find it helps.
You have also quickly learnt another thing that cancer brings is, that its people that are important and the simple things in life and making sure people know that helps, especially for the patient.
You don't say what type of cancer your mum has, if you let people know there will be others on this site who have been through it and will be able to support and advise you if you have any questions.
But don't feel guilty, cancer is an illness not a punishment and your family will need you to be strong, you never know you may just suprise them and yourself.
My girls are 34 and 36, but when they were growing up they sound just like you and your sister, the younger one seemed angry all the time and got all the attention (not that she wanted it - but we always had to tread carefully so as not to set her off) the elder one suppressed all her emotions so she didn't draw attention to herself.
Take heart though, because I have always known they love me, in their different ways. The younger one is now married with children and is a fabulous mother, the elder one has a career and lives near me. But they have both been amazing since I've had cancer. They have loved me in different ways, but as a mother I know that they both love me. I'm sure your mum also knows how much you love her, just because you and your sister are different doesn't mean that either of you don't care about each other or about your mum.
We can't make your mum's cancer go away, but I hope you will find some comfort on this site.
Please send me a private message if you want to have a chat anytime
Hi, when my daughter was growing up she was a daughter from hell and I was a bitch mother. But I think such tense relationships between parents and children are normal and are in fact a part of biological function nature has engineered. As a child becomes an adult, there has to be an element which forces a child to leave home, start building his/her own home by working hard for it. This is a process of the continuation of human race.
With your mum being ill, the process is now much harder. It is perfectly natural that you feel angry about it. Remember others are scared about what's happening to your mum, perhaps much more so than you think. They are on the edge and can easily become abrasive towards you. It is less upsetting to get things off your chest by communicating your feeling on this site or talking to someone like a counsellor.
Hi Lauren, yes you've come to the right place because people on here do understand.
The wanting to scream and shout is sooooo normal.
Also although its years since I was a tenager I remember screaming and arguing with my grandmother (she brought me up and is who I always considered to my mum) whilest inside I was thinking "I dont want to do this" but I couldnt stop myself.
To be honest cant think of any time in my life that I would not want to relive except for that of being a tenager, in nomans land. Now in addition to all those problems (cos personally I think being a tennager is tough) you have to deal with your mum having cancer something which puts fear into everyones heart.
Don't worry about being the "tenager from hell" your a tenager its normal, probaly scare the living daylights out of your mum if you changed. No matter what you mum will love you for who you are good and bad, and she knows you love her so what others think is of no importance.
Take no notice of what your sisters friends say we all deal with things differently there is no wright or wrong were all unique. Also Take no notice of some of the stuff people who have no idea of what its like to be touched by c say because oh my gosh they come out with some howlers, so much so could make a pacifist into a killer.
If you know what kind of bc your mum has and the treatments she's getting, people on here can give you an idea of what to expect her to go through, knowladge helps.
Plus every year the treatments for this type of c keep developing and improving it is no longer the poor life expectancy it was. An example is I was diagnes with quite an agressive bc but have been given a rough life expectancy of about 85 (don't think they took into account my love of dangerous adventure and sports).
Take care come and rant and rave as much as you like on here we undrstand. Better out than in I say.
Hi, i'd just like to say thanks' to everyone for your support and comments, and i will be keeping you all posted about Mum's progress, she's had both a CTC scan and blood and bone scan's now so we are just waiting fo rthe result's to see if the Cancer has spread!! Hopefully it has'nt though!! You are all lovely people and i really appreciate all your comment's and for caring
