Dear Husband, I will be there for you, every step of the way, right by your side.

With a packed church and many good people around me I got through the farewell service. How I did I will never know. Our three sons were simply amazing . Their dad would have been so proud. My husband said I would find the strength from somewhere and as always he was right. But how my heart grieves for him now.

My heart aches like nothing else before,

but as I promised,

I was there for him, every step of the way, right by his side. Right to his very last breath.

Still at the hospice. Still anxious. Still exhausted. Still dead inside. I feel like I don't know myself anymore. I'm already grieving I know but this is a terrible life I'm leading. Week three began with hubby picking up enough for the team to begin to make plans to go home. It was a high risk strategy of course but we all needed something to work towards. Hubby said very little about it and didn't show any excitement…

We are still here at the Hospice. We've been here now for 12 days. The first few days preparing for him to die. Now we are waiting waiting waiting to see what his body decides to do. I think I have already died inside because I can no longer feel anything. I can't connect with anything or anyone. I' don't even feel exhausted anymore. Cancer is so cruel. His body is still so strong with no signs of it giving in just…

We have arrived now at the Hospice. Despite my very best efforts Hubby declined over the weekend and after one of the most stressful 48 hours of my life we are finally here. Saturday morning seems years ago now, in these final anxious days each hour seems like one day . We were very fortunate to have a space here and for anyone who is undecided about the Hospice experience I would like to reassure them . My horror and…