Freshers Week....

I don't often tell anyone what they should do but you need to talk to student services now. They can support you and help you at this terrible time. I can't imagine how hard life is for you. Cancer is shit ! Ethel x

40 odd years ago (can I be that old and was it so long ago?) my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy. I was open about it with everybody I knew. I am that sort of person. If I am not my usual self it is easier to say why rather than hide it away. Others will pick up on it anyway and then they will eventually ask what's up.

My advice is to be open with your circle of friends. You will soon find who are friends you can rely on. You might even find that friend who will sit there and listen to you offload.

Also, never forget this brilliant website. Sometimes just reading and lurking is all that is needed. Other times, saying what you feel and letting it out helps. Some people I know even keep a personal diary of what they are experiencing.

I have been helpless in the face of cancer three times with my mother, once with my husband. In the end cancer killed them, but they are both still alive within me where it truly matters.

The advice from both Ethel and Tim is very sound tequileo.  My son was in a similar situation to you a couple of years ago when his dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (which, despite the odds he is still fighting) .  With the help of the uni Open Door Team (student counselling) and his friends he managed to complete his degree.  

I know he found it terribly hard being away from home and felt a lot of guilt about carrying on at Uni but it was what his dad (and I) wanted.  It has always been very important for my husband that his boys are getting on with their own lives rather than putting them on hold and our younger son has now managed to complete his first year at Uni.

The involvement of the Open Door Team was invaluable when my elder son needed to be back at home for a while - they helped with mitigating circumstances etc. helping keep things as flexible as possible for him.

Sometimes telling the first person is the hardest thing to do.

I hope you get the support you need 

I think that you will find things a little easier if you could manage to confide in a few people, perhaps your flatmates to start with.  Cancer is sadly so common these days that you may even find someone in your circle of friends who has been through worries over a relative.  I think any good friend would want to be there for you through a rough time.  If one of your mates was going through any sort of crisis, wouldn't you want to try to help them? 

There is a lot of help and support on this site.  You can ring the Support Line for a chat.  You can also connect up with others who are in a similar situation to yourself.  Blogs are a great outlet for your feelings. 

It's a terrible time you are going through but you don't have to face it alone.  xx

What you are going through with your mum is absolutely massive, you need support and you need your friends.  Talk to them, let them comfort you.

My advice is that you go to your mum and as with other advice here, try and continue your studies from your mums.  You won't get this time back with your mum - you can study anytime.

You don't have to deal with this alone, it's too important x