I miss my Dad

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

5 May 2011

I lost my Dad on the 3rd August 2009 when i was just 17 years old. It was only 6 weeks after he was diagnosed and it all happened so quick.

He collapsed one night and i was forced to do CPR. Nothing helped and no one could help him, even the paramedics. He was pronounced dead 2 and a half hours after he collapsed.

I was always a Daddy's girl. My brother and sister are a lot older and had moved out of the family home. It was my Dad who was always there for me when i came home from school and who was there on school holidays. He supported me in all my dreams and it hurts me that he never got to see a few of them come true. He died before my last year of 6th form and never saw me get a place a university. Every good moment in my life now seems overshadowed by the loss of him.

Been away in Uni sucks. I find it so hard to get a connection with him and i miss him so much. I have only just started grieving and it is tearing me apart. I can't stop the flashbacks and nightmares about that night. I'm now on sleeping meds, anti depressants and attending counselling. Nothing seems to help.

Thought i would start at blog to share my journey.

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Doo,

Welcome to the Macmillan support Group. Sorry about the circumstances. You have had a rough couple of years,

and having to do CPR on your Dad must have been a

very distressing situation for you. But now you are on this site we will give you all the Support, Strength and Comfort.

that we canm if you want to talk there is always someone to listen. You can let go of all your feeling that have built up inside. We will always be here for you. Look after yourself. Keep in touch.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

hi there

firstly, i send you my sympathy on the loss of your dad. at such a young age to lose him, its no surprise you are struggling to cope with the enormity of it and the horror of what happened - its hard for everyone but i think the younger you are the harder it is, as there is the unfairness as well to try to deal with. i can empathise with your feelings of events being overshadowed - i agree with you that he should be here to see these things and share them - if life was fair and cancer wasnt such an evil bastard then he would be. its good that you are seeking help, i hope the counselling and medication aids you to get through this to a calmer,more peaceful time in your life.

always here if you want to talk or just to write down your feelings, you'll find plenty of people here who understand.

love n hugs, claire x
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