Daytime tv and cups of tea

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

26 Mar 2014

I live with extended family and about 5 days ago my sis-in-law was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer of the meninges. Since then they have moved her from our local hospital to Guys as they are better equipped to test and care for her condition. My husband feels she has lots hope of surviving, this is her 3rd episode in under 3 years :(

She has been told its a matter of weeks and now they're considering the option of chemotherapy if its viable to improve her prognosis. My husband and I are supportive of whatever decision she makes but her family all want her to do any treatment available to prolong her life. They have influenced her so much that some things which were factually correct with her are now twisted memories and as she started discussing her will my husband had to interrupt as she was giving incorrect information about ownership of our house. There are a lot of issues that I know will be very sticky and my husband is confused how to deal with such a delicate situation and is understandably avoiding things until there is no option but to deal with it.

I am trying to deal with many different things in the house and find myself often sitting in front of daytime tv drinking tea and eating biscuit when I should be putting away laundry or doing something else productive. last year I put on 3kg whilst she was in hospital and dread to think how much i'm putting on now!!! It's hard with my MIL who is a rollercoaster of emotions and is possibly delusional of the possible outcomes of the tests to be carrried out at Guys....

Am trying to stay calm and think I will start meditating and praying regularly as I have lost focus over the last 5 days.... :(

Thanks for reading and being with me virtually

xxx

FormerMember over 10 years ago

Hello Farhana

Just wanted to let you know that people like me are reading your blog and are with you here in cyberspace. It must be very hard for you having to manage the expectations, worries and fears of your family members. Everyone reacts to this sort of news in different ways, but it is important for them to realise that the wishes of the patient must come first. It sounds as though you and your husband know this but the others don't. They are frightened, I'm sure. It is your and your husband's role to remind them that your sister in law has to decide for herself how she wishes to deal with this very tough situation. I don't have any wise advice for you, except to say that watching daytime TV and drinking tea is an understandable response, and maybe you do just need to take some rest and try not to get too involved with everyone else's 'stuff'. And the laundry can wait!

Do come and let off steam here whenever you need to, There is a lovely bunch of people here who will give you the time and space to do just that (and maybe some wise advice too).

With love, Dyad
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FormerMember over 10 years ago

Hi Farhana, don't feel bad about watching tv and drinking tea. Sometimes it is the body's way of dealing with stressful situations, and watching tv can be a form of escapism from the reality. At the moment you have a lot to deal with. Not just your own feelings but as Dyad said, the fears and worries of family members too. I see on your last blog your children seem more settled with the situation, so that is one thing less to worry about. When I feel stressed about the cancer I Hoover the house like a mad woman! Somehow it takes my frustration away. The carpets are beginning to look a bit threadbare though! Stay strong, you will get through this xx
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