See your dead son....and go for a haircut!!!

Less than one minute read time.

I have been thinking about this since yesterday, trying to allow what grief does to people. We are all different.    But please, am I expecting too much here?

I, my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law and my youngest son were going to the funeral home yesterday to see my husband. We still have 2ft of snow and ice up here and despite my brother-in-law having hired a car, I seem to be doing all the driving. He never even offers, despite knowing his way around, just makes a bee-line for my car and gets in the passenger seat.

Anyway, I digress, we came out of there very upset, still crying as it did not look anything like my Hans, his mouth was all wrong and one of his nostrils was compressed somehow. In a way made it easier to believe he has moved on elsewhere, because it wasn't him lying there.

Brother-in-law then asked me to drive around all the hairdressers in town to find one that could fit mother-in-law in straight away for a haircut!!!!!

Crying my eyes out and I'm driving around, trying to park in snow drifts for a damned haircut.

Is it me?

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Oh Grace how truly awful for you on top of everything you are feeling.  Unfortunatley I have learned only too well in the last few weeks that there are people who are close family who think the world revolves around them and don't give a monkey's for anyone else

    .

    I have a very similar mother in law. One of her refrains is 'Why me? Why has my son got cancer?'. Sorry - the wuestion should be 'Why him?' but she thinks the world revolves around her.She is very controlling too.

    I tell you this not to rant but to share so you know this one thing-

    IT'S NOT YOU!!

    How unfeeling to expect you to do all the driving and I expect you probably wanted to go home and remember Hans as he is in your mind and be alone. Instead of looking for a hairdresser. Pity she didn't have a perm or a colour which got left on too long so it all fell out. Sorry- that's not nice.

    Anyway Grace you are among friends and as we know we can pretty well say a lot on here and rant and no-one thinks the worst.

    Keep in touch and sending you love

    Claire

    PS And yes you are strong!

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Are these people for real?????

    Grace it is definately not you.................... my heart goes out to you - you have enough to contend with without having to deal with these unthinking and unfeeling people!

    At this juncture,  put yourself and your children first and do what you want,  not what extended family members may want.

    Sending you a huge ((((((HUG)))))).

    Liz

    xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    My Dearest Grace,

    It is definatly not you. The selfishness and the audacity,to even think of expecting you to drive in your state of mind is beyond me. You are too loving and caring to tell your so-called in laws to go and get stuffed.I would have left them at the hairdressers and drove off. But thats me!!!!!!!!!!

    You look after yourself and your family,Your strength and love will see you through the sadness

    at this time.

    May your Ed. R.I.P.. Regards Sarsfirld

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    My god, I can't use the words I want to about these selfish, heartless S***S. Dear Grace we are all with you my love at this time. Sending you loads of hugs....love Carol x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thanks for confirming I'm not going mad and it shouldn't have happened. Could be a cultural thing, because they are dutch?  Why I am still trying to justify their behaviour is beyond me.

    Hans must be looking out for me though as they have been able to obtain flights today to let them go home on Tuesday morning and return next Monday for the funeral on the Wednesday.

    I am so looking forward to it just being my younger son and daughter in the house and be able to cry in any damned room I please whenever I feel like it.

    One little thing, Mother-in-law is not at all pleased with her haircut, it's too short and has been cut all wrong etc., etc..

    Divine intervention(Hee hee hee!!!)