This is my third attempt to write this blog today... It should have been the day my lovely Dad came out of hospital where he has been the last 6 weeks, 60 miles away from his home n family.
It's been the hardest day for me so far, don't ask why, maybe that after the district nurse came to inflate the mattress for the hospital bed my Mum now has in the dining room, was the fact that my Dad is coming out on a stretcher. Not the way you'd expect to be coming home! A man who upto Xmas was playing 18 holes of golf twice a week n was just complaining of being a bit tired afterwards.
He was diagnosed with mesothelioma just 15 days ago and it's turned my world upside down.
Today I've felt very anxious and tense. I was the one who pushed to get Dad home as I felt being in a room alone with only a frosted window wasn't helping his mental state whatsoever, he needs to have his family around him to help. But as the equipment arrived, bed, mattress, commode, wheelchair to follow plus the phone calls about us emptying chest drains, administering morphine and the fact that they didn't recommend bed sides as he had tried to climb over them in hospital and pulled out the drains and catheter, no, he doesnt have dementia, just drugs given to quell the pain. I did question whether we were doing the right thing, maybe me just being a coward.
Writing this does help in a way too relieve how I feel, after keeping a stiff upper lip for the family. Sorry if anyone who reads this gets scared but the fact is it is scary ... But I have to cope, be strong, for my lovely wonderful Dad who has always been there for me.
The hospital rang this afternoon .... They couldn't get the transport arranged, now it's tomorrow, we had to phone Dad and disappoint him yet again!!
Julie
