My cancer journey is now coming to an end as my Dad has been given a few weeks to live. He has been moved from the family home to the hospice and now we play the waiting game.
This is the most horrifiying experience I think I will ever have to go through, sitting down with the family discussing "the end" and then walking through the next door to chat to him like nothings happened. I miss him and he's not gone yet, my heart is breaking but I sit with a smile a chat, I always want to be by his side but there is only so long I can stay there. I know there is no right or wrong reaction or way to cope but my head is everywhere from anger, upset, strength and part of me wishing this was over.
Only being 24 means many of my friends haven't clue what to do or say, a friend last night compared this to "the stress of my Marketing exam" ... yes, thats excatly the same! Luckily I have an amazing boyfriend who is devastated as well but at least I have him here to prop me up and in turn I prop him up.
Today we watched the Grand Prix as we always have since I was little, and yes I had to remind him from time to time who people were but I enjoyed it, even if our team came 5th!
So this is it the "it" that everyone keeps talking about... it could be 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months, no one knows. But what I do know is his time here has been powerful, fun and full of laughter and had importance in this world. He's had part in thing that all of us use everyday, ground breaking things and secret important things, he knows royality and met some fantasic people from Sir Micheal Cain to Ainsley Harriot! and many more. That man is my Dad, not just anybody... my Dad.
