Since this all began, I’ve had a lot of time to ponder various things, as I’m presently not allowed to work for the foreseeable future at least. I’ve already made my views on Daytime TV clear in a previous blog, so I find myself trying to keep my mind active without reaching for the TV remote.
Writing these blogs helps enormously, it’s making me have to use my brain, despite the limitations that Cyril imposes. Those who come across my spelling errors please know I’ve been through each of these blogs several times trying to eradicate them, before the page ever gets published.
My memory isn’t at all good at the moment, which means on occasion trying to spell even simple words can be challenging to say the least. I do try my hardest to proof read my ramblings several times, but still when I come back to see a blog a few days later, I find myself reaching for the Edit tab, so that’s certainly a negative since Cyril has ‘moved in’.
Another negative, is my almost now constant frustration at myself when talking. I will be speaking on the phone or to one of my daughters or Susie at home or friends and then forget the word I was going to use in whatever thing I was saying.
The temptation for the poor person I’m having the conversation with, is to ’help me out’ by saying the word I was going to use or trying to work out the word and then giving me options to use.
We have been told by the doctor to let me remember/figure out the word I was going to use myself, but as you can imagine the person I’m chatting with is left waiting, while I um and err trying to pluck the word I wanted out of either thin air or my befuddled brain, which ever gets there first.
For all the humour I hope anyone reading these blogs has realised I am getting, from this absurd situation, this forgetting words is the one and only time I actually get really frustrated.
Which sadly leads to me being as the kids say a bit ‘Snappy Dad’ I just can’t help it. I’m obviously mortified as soon as I’ve lost my cool and find myself apologising for quite a while afterwards. Thankfully both my close family and friends realise this and don’t take offence if I get a bit ‘Snappy Dad’.
Are there any positives?
This is an odd one and shows my incredibly childish sense of humour, for which I make no apology.
This is the second week; taking my prescribed epilepsy medicine (I still can’t pronounce its name so it’s referred to as Meds in our house) I’m now on two 250mg tablets twice a day. Sadly, they no longer give me that happy I’ve just had four bottles of cider feeling like they did last week, but there is to me at least a different ‘benefit’.
They make me fart almost constantly, I sound like a fighter jet on take-off. In fact such is their power, I actually woke myself up this morning with a fart, I then lay in bed giggling like a naughty school boy. I got up and went downstairs to make myself a cuppa and farted so loudly in our hallway, I woke Gabby up too, she was not happy about this, as it’s her first day of her Christmas holidays, so she had planned to sleep in that is until I intervened.
Now as I said previously, I have a childish sense of humour (those who know me well are sitting there nodding thinking to themselves ‘do you ever’) I make no apology for this in fact to be honest, the day farts and farting aren’t funny, I may as well give up the whole ‘living’ thing as a bad job.
Thankfully, there is presently at least, no ‘Toxic fallout’ connected to my ‘outbursts’ but much giggling and disgust from various members of my family or indeed whomever is in the firing line so to speak. (I got far too much enjoyment writing that paragraph, like I said childish)
Another positive to Cyril, again connected to my weird and some say warped sense of humour. I get a strange comedic pleasure at people’s reactions when I tell them about Cyril. I know this will sound rather perverse or sick even to some of you reading this and I do apologise, but I’ve come to terms with Cyril and all it does or could mean so I’m very calm about it.
There is a small part of me that takes joy in people’s reactions, when I finish telling them what’s going on in my life right now. I don’t do it cruelly or with any kind of malice I tell them about Cyril with the same humour I have in these blogs, joking about it as I explain what’s been going on for the last few months.
Most people are obviously stunned and show sympathy which is both understandable and lovely. I think a lot of people who know me, actually think my humour and joking about Cyril is just me putting on a brave face and they are expecting me to crash heavily any day now. (With some of my mates, I wouldn’t be surprised if the buggers have got a sweep stake going, you know who you are)
This thankfully is not the case, I’ve had my melt down as you will have read in a previous blog and despite what they may tell me tomorrow at Addenbrooke’s Hospital, or indeed what they may discover when they start taking a Dewalt battery drill to me head (Not an expert on this bit as you may have guessed) I know in my heart that everything will work out ok.
I’m not religious so I won’t be calling on any ‘higher power’ to give me a hand on this, I do in an odd way believe that life is somewhat mapped out for each of us. A bit like the film ‘The Adjustment Bureau’ only I’m neither handsome, rich or running for office, but I think life gives us crossroads or choices which we don’t realise we have been offered until month’s or even years later.
I’ve had a wide and varied career, I’m a trained chef, I have worked on a chicken farm, in warehouses, developed estate agents photos, delivered parcels, been a sales rep, I’ve valeted cars, worked abroad, for many years I installed car audio systems, even wrote for a magazine for a little while (although reading some of this drivel you’d never guess) until I ended up doing home and corporate AV systems which I’ve done for the last 15 years or so, for 8 of those I ran my own business.
All of these, weird and varied career paths have taught me life goes on, good or bad, better or worse, rich or poor. I’ve always come out the other side, my kids have never starved, granted they’ve never been to Disneyland either.
But, they are two balanced, clever, beautiful young women who I’m very proud of. The wife and I haven’t done a bad job raising them (it has to be said the wife gets way more credit here than me) not sure if I’m trying to convince you the reader or me the writer here but no matter what, I’ll be ok.
Picture is of what we refer to as Meds, because no one has a clue how the hell you pronounce that. I’m adding this little bit in a day after I originally posted this blog. I had a message to call my GP’s surgery this morning, I spoke to the nice lady they wanted to tell me the repeat prescription for my meds was in. She valiantly tried to pronounce the name three times.
I started laughing and said don’t worry I know the ones you mean and we just call the meds here, because none of us can say it either. 
So glad its not just me 
