Well I've just watched our Joan on telly talking husbands and how she saved the best until last, her Percy. it was all upbeat and showbiz until we got to the demise of sister Jackie with breast cancer...I was so engrossed my Toblerone was melting all over my fingers and I looked very troubled listening looking and licking. Not at all how Joan would behave. Well not unless on the casting couch...
Celebrity
Why am I now obsessed with other people's cancer? OPC is the topic for me. Oh and obituaries in my local paper, age determined before trying to fathom cause. Fathers day today and my one year departed Dad is not sending any "signs, hints or tips" to let me know how good he's having it. Is he living it large in Heaven? is Heaven a bit like Greece, nice and warm and we wear togas? Will there be Toblerone? Nope, he's having none of it. Mind you he ignored me alot when he was here, I suspect my drama's,divorces and diets bored him then. Having to listen and give me his hankies for all eternity probably isn't his idea of Heaven. I give up looking out for signs...
Paparazzi
Then it's the ' bust lookers'. I'm putting the bins out and so is half the street. All watching my knockers trying to guess which one it is? Has she had one off? Has she got the Big C coz she's rather chubby and has hair? Are the rumours that she's dying true? Didn't she have a few husbands? I bet they couldn't cope with her - she looks a handful - well more than a handful, titter, titter!!! Get the joke there?
Retreating from public life
So now I'm in bed and writing this. I know I'm not your normal celebrity and you've never heard of me until now but you are no doubt starting to know me slightly. I've just realised that I have a chin on my chest as I write on my phone. I've grown my own buffer so I will find it easy to do more nightly ruminations. Joan says she will be publishing her diaries soon. I am beating her to it.
