Ive got to a point in my life when yes, I accept death and accept that my elders are going to die, but in my head i had this rosy picture that my Grandma at her ripe old age would just fall asleep when it was time, not suffer or feel any pain, but as always it seems that my heads in the clouds and there never is a right time or a right way to go.
My grandma is a inspiration to me, she has had a humble up bringing, lived and worked hard throughout the war, and my: my she has got loads of tales to tell about them days believe me. She married her husband 61 years ago and had 2 children and it broke my heart having the share the worst news ever with her husband of 61 years.
So it seems at the moment we are in limbo, the diagnosis is that she has a tumor, she did smoke but stopped 20 years ago the doctors keep asking “did she work with asbestos”, the answer is NO but... she has ironically.. ironed on the same ironing board for 60 years, it's a wooden one and Grandad says it used to have a asbestos pad where you place the iron, this pad has disingrated over the 60 years and there is nothing left. Could it be possible that this is happening because of a life of ironing?
In the day room the lady doctor and a nice male nurse comforted us whilst they explained the test's what had been done and also the result "it doesnt look good i'm afraid" "We have found a tumor on your lungs.
The treatment they will give is pallitive, she is still in hosptal and we are despearate to get her home, I know the doctors and nurses are doing their best but as she hasnt got long to live we really want her home so we can truly love and care for her not just medically care for her.
THE HARDEST THING IS NOT KNOWING, JUST HOW LONG WE HAVE GOT, is it normal for the hospital not to give us an idea of how long we have got?
I must admit non of us have actually asked.
Any help and advice is truly and greatfully accepted
Thank You, Sarah x
