I think I am prepared, but I know I am not

My Dear Sandi,

My lovely man died a week ago today. I know exactly how you are feeling, just to say I am wishing you strength, just be with, talk to him, hold his hand if you can. I did and it has given me great comfort in this past sad week.

Love Grace X

You are never prepared! I had 4 years to prepare, I kept myself strong for my husband because I knew after he was gone I would have all the time in the world to take care of me!

It is weird how our bodies and life itself helps us through these dark times, but it doe's and the time flys by. 4 years on I still miss my darling hubby every second of everyday. I look back on those nightmare times and wonder how on earth I coped but I did. here I am now with a new network of friends around. A new man in my life who share with me my memories of my husband, who helps me care for his patch in the cemetary, and understands totally my grief at losing my husband.

The old cliche time heals is true. We never forget but we learn to carry on. I hope you have as good a support network as I had. As Grace said be with your darling, hold his hand and let him know how much you love him.

Thinking of you and sending you the strength to get through this. Love Julie xx

Dear Sandi

Why do people always say we are lucky - they could have been killed in a car crash and we wouldn't have had that time? People don't see the reality do they, the day to day awfulness of this and how it changes your man in front of your eyes.

I am so sorry to read this and my heart goes out to you. I do hope he doesn't suffer. We all want that for them don't we and it's us that do the suffering .

I can relate to the bit about last year there was nothing wrong with him. We were the same. He started feeling ill in September - nothing too bad it seemed apart from dreadful diarrhoea that wouldn't go away. We were planning to sell the house this year and move on. And now he's almost bedridden and terminally ill. How cruel this all is.

Thinking of you

Claire x