torn

Wow, talk about being between a rock and a hard place! I think it would be worth saying to your mum that although you understand her reasons for not wanting your sister to know, it puts you in an unfair and difficult position. I understand she does not want the to worry your sister or cause a fuss but may very well end up with a huge rift on her hands, not what she needs when she is facing radiotherapy.

As for your friends mmm! I think I would be saying well actually I don't care which room I have I need to be with mum! Anyway you could go the day before or something for bank accounts etc? I don't know but obviously this is all they have to worry about, I'll be honest with you, you will find it very difficult and will find out who your true firends are in all this. There is one guy on my course who is the only one to have nursed my mum twice in fact whilst on placement and bank shifts, he hasn't even contacted me send his condolences!! Hope you get things sorted, you know where I am. xx

Hi,

Nothing is ever simple and sometimes it feels like whatever you do is wrong - I know because a few weeks ago, this is how I felt. My husband said to me - don't have regrets - so my advice is be true to how you feel and don't have any regrets.

Personally, I would drop everything and go to the appointment with your Mum. The reason I say this is because originally I had an MRI scan because I had the feeling that my tongue and mouth was burning all of the time. On this scan they saw the tumour in the base of my skull - unrelated to the mouth problems apparently. Anyway, when I went for the MRI results - I went on my own because I had no idea that I had this tumour. I felt like I had been hit by a bus when I was told. I then had to drive home 30 mins on my own. Since then I refuse to go to appointments alone. And I could not let my Dad go on his own either.

So if it has taken a lot for her to ask, think about it. And if you do go, your friends aren't true friends if they don't understand.

As for your sister, I assume there must be a good reason for your Mum not wanting her to know. But what I would say is - think about it - what if it was the other way around and you didn't know about your Mum?

I really hope you manage to sort things out. Life is never simple.

Take care

Jo x

Your so called mate has put you on the spot very

selfishly. What if it was her Mum??. I personally work by priority Family first and anything else can wait..

Good Luck.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

Wow! sounds just like our family, you cant choose your family only your friends and friends like yours arent worth having.

Banks, rooms and tutors can be sorted but your mum obviously needs your support. I also think you will need your sisters support.

Whatever the problem is between you should be put aside for your mums sake.

As you said yourself your mum is worried and your sister would not appreciate being left uninformed.

Explain to your mum that its not a dentist appointment your attending and you feel strongly that your sister should know.

Good luck

Hope we have helped and you can get everything sorted.

Shaz x

Hi Hun

Am sorry things still seem to be upside down for you at the moment.  Life is just so damn difficult at times and families.....................well i know exactly all about that one.  If it were me i would defintley go to the appt with Mum, so what the rooms, tutor and bank acc can wait.  This is important and as you say it was maybe your mums way of asking youto with her.

I think i would have a good long chat with her about your sister, it is unfair that you have to shoulder the burden alone and perhaps your sister would feel awful if she then went onto find out accidentally. A rift is something you can well without right now.

Family first, keep strong

Jules xx