Receiving a cancer diagnosis can bring overwhelming emotions, uncertainty and many questions. It can be difficult to know what to do or where to turn, especially in those first few days. It can help to hear from people who have been there before.
Last month, we asked members of the Online Community what they would say to themselves on the day they were diagnosed with cancer. We wanted to know what words of advice they would offer, anything they wish they had known at the time, and what helped them most during those early days.
In this blog, we’ve brought together some of the replies our members shared. We hope their experiences, advice and words of encouragement will help anyone who has recently been diagnosed with cancer feel a little less alone and more prepared.
You may feel overwhelmed after receiving a cancer diagnosis. There may be appointments, tests and treatment decisions to think about. Several members highlighted the importance of taking things one step at a time.
“I think I would advise anyone to take it one day at a time.”
"You don't have to have everything figured out straight away. Give yourself time to take things in."
You don't have to work out everything on the day you're diagnosed. For some people, getting through the next day, appointment or treatment can be enough.
“Some days are harder than others, but I’ve learned to take each day as it comes, celebrate the small milestones, and hold on to hope.”
There can be a lot to process after a diagnosis. Members of the Community often share about feeling frightened, confused, angry or overwhelmed. The Online Community is a safe space where you can be honest about all your feelings. There is no "right" way to respond to a cancer diagnosis. However you're feeling, you deserve support.
“I would tell myself not to bottle things up. It's ok to cry”
“Its ok to not be ok, its not about being tough, its about the journey and asking for help when you need it!”
When you're given a cancer diagnosis, there can be so much information to take in that it can be difficult to know what to ask. One member looking back on their diagnosis wished they had felt more able to speak up.
“I would tell myself to ask more questions. Looking back, I think we were both so stunned that we simply listened to what we were being told without really asking the questions we wanted answered.”
Another member shared similar thoughts and how they needed to advocate for themselves.
“I should have joined the Online Community earlier. I should have asked my medical team more questions. I should have realised some "friends" were not friends. I need to advocate for myself with the NHS to push for meetings, scans and tests.”
When you're newly diagnosed, it can be helpful to write down questions before appointments or take someone with you who can help remember what was discussed. You can also speak to a cancer information nurse specialist on the Macmillan Support Line, who can offer information and support, including tips on talking to your medical team and questions you may want to ask. They are available to chat with every day, from 8am - 8pm on for free (in the UK) on 0808 808 00 00.
After receiving a cancer diagnosis, you might find yourself focusing entirely on your illness and what might happen next. But one member with stage 4 cancer shared a significant piece of advice in the discussion.
“There will be treatment and there will be side effects, but there will also be ordinary days, good days, laughter, plans, travel and things to look forward to. So I live my best life while I can, not because I’m pretending the cancer isn’t there, but because it is there and I‘m still here.”
There isn't one right way to cope with a cancer diagnosis. Some people find comfort in routine, while others need flexibility. Hobbies, time outdoors and small goals can also help.
“I found embracing some flexibility helpful. Routine has a place too but there were times when I threw that out of the window. (Still do)”
One member found that “painting and drawing and genealogy” helped during recovery, while “sitting outside in the garden with the birds was beneficial mentally”.
Focusing on small things can help too.
“I wrote down 3 small things to do each day to keep motivated.”
The Macmillan Online Community is here to help you connect with people who understand what it's like to live with cancer. Whether you're looking for advice, want to share your experience, or simply want to hear from others, you're welcome to join the conversation.
Have you been living with cancer for a while? What would you tell yourself on the day you were diagnosed? Join our "What would you tell yourself on the day you were diagnosed?" discussion to share your experiences, advice and words of encouragement.
If you've recently been diagnosed, you're also very welcome to join the discussion, ask questions, or simply read what other members have learned from their experiences.
