Meet Amy, Part 2: Introducing Stoic Philosophy

3 minute read time.

Wintery scene with some frosted berries hanging off a tree.

In a recent Community News Blog we met our new guest blogger Amy, who struggled with her emotions after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Amy has since used this experience to write a blog to help others manage their mental health through cancer and is keen to share some of the resources which helped her. If you missed the first part of the blog, ‘Meet Amy – Finding a way to move towards acceptance and peace’, you can find it by clicking here.

Amy told us about a time when she felt that cancer brought a lot of uncomfortable emotions to the surface. She says, “I was tempting to stuff them back down and pretend I was OK. Maybe I did this a little bit on the surface. Sometimes you don’t feel comfortable sharing your darkest thoughts. Maybe you feel a need to protect your loved ones. But I felt a strong internal need to be honest with myself…”

“I was scared. I felt grief. I felt panic. I was afraid. I was angry. I also felt shame.”

“I was scared. I felt grief. I felt panic. I was afraid. I was angry. I also felt shame. Shame is a difficult emotion. There was quite a lot of emotion for me wrapped up in my fitness, my health, my body, my fertility, my plans for a family.” 

Amy explains how at times these feelings were overwhelming and she wasn’t sure if there was a way through. “Maybe I just had to suffer. But there was another voice in my head, a voice that was calm. When I experienced despair it asked me, ‘Has despair taught you anything before?  Have you ever got to the end of despair and found answers?’ It was easy to answer ‘no’…”  

“…I wanted to feel peaceful, accepting, loving…”

 “Despair, panic, worrying, the need to control, to survive, to win, to succeed - all felt horrible… eventually I realised this wasn’t the path I wanted to take. I wanted to feel peaceful, accepting, loving.”

An image of a bubble in snow, showing ice formations

“I began searching for information on accepting difficult circumstances and came across Stoic Philosophy.”

 “I began searching for information on accepting difficult circumstances and came across Stoic Philosophy. The 3 key Stoic philosophers are Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius.  They were Philosophers from Ancient Greece and Rome, writing more than 2,000 years ago.” 

 “Stoic Philosophy was a revelation to me. It still helps me now.” 

“Stoic Philosophy gave me a path to follow out of the darkness. The Stoics showed me I had a choice. They told me there were some things in my control and some things out of my control.  They told me it was how I was looking at the situation that was causing suffering, not the situation I found myself in. They encouraged me to put my focus on what I could control - my values, my beliefs, my thoughts, my actions, rather than trying to change what was happening or pretend I was OK. Stoic Philosophy was a revelation to me. It still helps me now.” 

 Here are some of Amy’s favourite quotes:

 

“Do not hope that every situation goes your way, but hope that you can go with every situation.” 

 

“It is not death or pain that is to be dreaded, but the fear of death or pain.”

 

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” 

  

“Think not this is misfortune, but to bear this worthily is good fortune.” 

Amy suggests that if you feel like you would benefit from having greater power, choice and emotional freedom, it may be worth finding out more about Stoic Philosophy and has some tips to help you get started:

 Amy’s tips

  1. Do an internet search to find a full list of quotes from Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius.  
  2. Look at the books by Sam Tarode as a very simple introduction. 
  3. Read more about how Stoicism helped when I had cancer - www.carouselmentalhealth.com 

Have you heard of stoic philosophy before and has this helped you?  Do you have your own experience of managing your emotions when affected by cancer? If you’d like to share with the Community, please comment below, or you can email the Community team at community@macmillan.org.uk

Anonymous
  • Hello Amy, thank you I think I will look this up. I have curitive bowel cancer, I’ve had chemo radiation, said I had good results but I might still need surgery. I am scared and I wish I could push it down. I have another mri on Wednesday. This could be what I’m looking for, because all I feel is fear. Love& kindness to us all xx

  • Thank you for taking the time to comment

    I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time right now, but it's positive that you've found Amy's recommendations useful. I hope you're able to find some comfort in investigating stoic philosophy and do let us know if there's anything else Macmillan might be able to support you with. 

    I hope it's helping to be able to talk to others in the Community and know that our Support Line teams are also here for you 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.

    Take care,

    Steph 

  • Thank you Amy for introducing this very refreshing and inspiring concept.

    Like Stoicism, I think a lot of Buddhist philosophy has much to offer people confronted with cancer. 

  • I have had cancer since 2016. My last decade has been full of surgeries and precanerous to cancer diagnosis. The word cancer evokes emotions of fear, death, and an anxiety that is unexplainable. My faith in eternal life has provided a great anchor for me to move forward. God created us and he rules over us. We have choices of how we live that life just as Amy’s philosophers’ have stated. My faith in God and the guidance of the Bible is very similar to the great philosophers that came after Christ. Jesus changed the world when he came. Recently, I have been looking at instances of life after death. There is a consciousness and a voice that most people hear after the experience of death and a return to life. My suggestion would be that if you are experiencing emotions of fear and anxiety to look at the Bible and to find someone who is grounded in faith to share your fears with. Opening your heart up to what is important in life and focusing on that instead of on the potential of your death which could have a wonderful life afterwards. I suggest you do your own research of near death experiences and the Christian faith that is based on reliance on God and serving others in life by loving all people and gifts on this earth and minimizing ourselves. If you pause, the voice of the Spirit of God will come upon you and you will find peace within his guidance and words of truth.

  • Hi Butterflyhi, I am Catholic, but since my cancer I have had overwhelming anxiety. I pray a lot, I’m trying mindfulness and other ways of getting my anxiety under control. I will never stop believing in My God. My sister is very unwell so I and with the restrictions of COVID I feel so low. If I get good news on Wednesday after my recent mri scan, I have to find away to put this behind me. So I think I need different strategies to help either way. Do you have any particular verses in the Bible that helps you?