How are you really?

Did you know there is a theory that when you ask someone how they are, you should to ask twice to get a truthful answer? 

Think about it, how many times have you been asked, ‘how are you?’ and you have answered with ‘fine thanks how are you? Sometimes replying with this is easier than explaining how you really feel if you’re struggling.

If you ask ‘How are you?’ again, you may find you will get a different answer. Asking twice shows you care and are not asking out of politeness.

If you answered 'I'm fine thank you' in the above poll, my question is, how are you really? Tell us in the comment box below. 

Benefits of talking

• Putting your thoughts into words will often help you understand what you are feeling and why.
• You may have lots of different emotions. Having someone listen to you without judgement may reassure you that what you are feeling is normal.
• If you feel someone else understands, cares and is there for you, it may reassure you that you are not going through difficult times alone.
• Talking about personal issues with people close to you and including them in important decisions often makes them feel valued.

It can be hard to talk about your true feelings with family and friends as you may be worried about upsetting them or causing them to worry. The benefit of our Online Community is that our forums are anonymous. The anonymity helps people to talk openly without worrying about identifying themselves. When people ask how you are on the Community, you can be as open and honest as you feel comfortable with as often people find talking to strangers sometimes easier.

Our forums can be great sources of support as you can access them 24/7. You’ll make some virtual friends who can understand how you may be feeling as they have been in a similar situation. Talking in our forums may help you feel less alone and understood.

Talking about cancer and your feelings

It can be difficult to talk about cancer so the following Macmillan resources can help put your own feelings into words:

‘Talking about cancer’ booklet- A booklet aimed at helping people with cancer talk about their illness and understand other people's responses. It includes tips for overcoming the barriers that make asking for support difficult and helps you deal with some of the questions and feelings you may have.

‘Talking with someone who has cancer’ booklet- this resource is aimed at those who are supporting a loved one living with cancer. 

We hope this blog has encouraged you to talk and ask people how they are twice to help give them space to open up about how they are really feeling.