"How are you?" - Counselling support for people living with cancer

6 minute read time.
"How are you?" - Counselling support for people living with cancer

“How are you?”

We all know this question can sometimes be a tricky one to answer. We also know it’s important to ask others how they are feeling, but don’t always take the time to ask ourselves how we are doing.  

Often, we brush off the question with a quick ‘Yes fine thanks, how’re you?’ but maybe it’s time to take a moment to really think about how you are feeling and whether you have the right emotional support in place for you.

When you have been affected by cancer, answering this question can sometimes feel even harder. Receiving a cancer diagnosis can impact your mental health and emotional wellbeing. In today’s Community news blog, we are talking about what support is available to help you explore the answer to that important question… ‘How are you?’ 

Exploring how you are feeling on the Community

One way that you can start to explore how you are feeling, is by talking to those who truly understand what you are going through. By posting in our discussion groups, you can take time to write down how you are feeling, no matter what you are facing, and share your thoughts with our members.  

“Sometimes it’s easier to write it down, to get it off your chest. Also, the keyboard isn’t emotionally involved, and it can’t see you crying – Community member, Breast cancer forum.

I think the mental impact of this disease is so so hard and I don’t know what I would do without the support in here. Community member, Breast cancer forum.

“This is a brilliant place to release all that pent-up emotional rubbish you’re dealing with.” Community member, ‘The Room’ 

“If it helps even a tiny bit to write it all down, that’s something…continue to put all your frustration and anger on here”Community member, Breast cancer forum.

Talking about how you are

As well as posting about how you are feeling here on the Community, sometimes the simple act of talking about how you are feeling with someone who is there to listen can really help. Here at Macmillan we have a Support Line that is open 7 days a week 8am-8pm. Our advisors will give you all the time and space you need to talk through how you are feeling.

Some of our members describe their experiences of calling our Support Line.

“I have more cried than spoken to the staff on the phone line here before now.” Community member, Family and friends forum

“I also called the Macmillan Support Line when I was really low. Even over the phone, they were brilliant, try it.” Community member, Breast cancer forum.

Even on days where you’re not sure how to even begin to answer the question ‘How are you?’, our advisors are here to listen and support you. Simply pick up the phone and call 0808 808 00 00, or click here to connect with an advisor via webchat.  

Counselling support

Sometimes exploring that all important question, ‘How are you?’ requires more structured support. Seeking counselling, or other talking therapies, can be an important step in understanding how you are feeling.

“I think you’re taking a positive and brave step in seeking counselling. As others have already said, the emotional and mental impact of this is beyond tough some days.” Community member, Breast cancer forum

There are different ways that you can access counselling and, as we’ve learned through the COVID19 pandemic, it doesn’t have to be sat in the same room face to face with someone.

You can access counselling in many ways:

  • Through the NHS via referral from your GP or Health Care Practitioner
  • Through a charity or local organisation
  • Paying privately

You may wish to speak with your GP to see what support is available in your local area.

Counselling support for people living with cancer

Macmillan is here to help. Through our partnership with BUPA, Macmillan are offering four sessions of free one-on-one counselling to people living with cancer which can be quickly and easily accessed.

For those who are eligible, specialist support is available within days and provided remotely i.e. over the phone or where required, online by video, at a time that suits you.

This free counselling is for people living with cancer. You can also find out more about the eligibility criteria, referral and Wellbeing Assessment process for our BUPA counselling service, by clicking here and reading more on our main website.

If you would like to explore whether our BUPA counselling service might be right for you, all you need to do is call our Macmillan Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 and ask our teams about the service. Our Support Line is open 7 days a week 8am-8pm.

Some of our Community members have posted about their experience of using BUPA counselling through Macmillan below:

“I made the call last week to be referred for the BUPA counselling. I’ve been putting it off for a while, but I feel I really need someone to talk to outside of friends and family! Waiting for an assessment but hoping it won’t be long and it will help.” Community member, Cancer Chat forum

“I did sessions via Macmillan/BUPA ending a few weeks ago. It was great to have a place to offload stuff and I have to say - the counsellor really showed up for me.” Community member, Breast cancer forum 

“I phoned up Macmillan, said I was interested in counselling, then they took a few details. Someone from Bupa phoned me a couple of days later and did an assessment - more in-depth questions about where I was. Lots of it was for safeguarding really. Then the counsellor… phoned me a day or two after that to arrange the first appointment. All pretty quick and easy.” Community member, Breast cancer forum

Whilst our BUPA counselling service is only available for those who have cancer at the moment, or have had cancer in the past, Macmillan is here to support anyone affected by cancer.

Other support for anyone affected by cancer

Getting the right support for your mental health can be just as vital as seeking support for your physical health, and the most important thing is to find the support that works best for you.

Whether you are a carer, close to someone who has been diagnosed, or have lost a loved one to cancer, our Community and Support Line teams are here for you and can help you explore how you are feeling.

Below are some resources to help anyone affected by cancer explore the answer to that seemingly simple question ‘How are you?’

How are you feeling? – The emotional effects of cancer

Are you feeling lonely?

“I’m fine”: how do you really cope as a carer?

Supporting yourself while supporting someone with incurable cancer (part 1)

Supporting yourself while supporting someone with incurable cancer (part 2)

However you are feeling today, you are not alone. Remember to keep talking about how you are and take the time you need to find the support that works best for you. Whether that’s posting on the Community, calling our Support line or accessing counselling, Macmillan is here for you.

Anonymous
  • Hi ,

    Thank you for taking the time to comment on our Community News Blog today, my name is Rachel and I work as part of the Community team here at Macmillan.

    I also want to thank you for sharing your experiences today Joe, here on the team we know how important it is for our members to be able to read about other people’s experiences and how it can help to show them that they are not alone. So, thank you for sharing how you are feeling this morning Joe.

    I’m so sorry to hear that you are having a difficult morning and have been feeling low. It sounds like you have an awful lot on your mind at the moment and I’m sorry to hear you have so much to cope with. It’s understandable to feel a whole range of emotions when you are waiting for surgery, including anxiety and apprehension. There is no wrong or right way to feel Joe, the most important thing is to remember that there is support out there for you.

    I hope you find the Community to be a place of comfort and support, and that connecting with others who may be going through a similar situation helps to show you that you are not alone.

    I hope you find it useful to continue to read our 'Community News Blogs' Joe, but I wanted to let you know as well that we have a dedicated Prostate cancer’ forum that you can post in to access peer support 24/7. Our Community, and Macmillan, are here for you at this time.

    With so much on your mind Joe, I wonder whether you might also find it useful to call and speak to our Support Line teams today? Our Teams are here for you, even if all you need is a listening ear. They will help you to talk through your concerns and provide information on the different types of support that may be available to you and your family at this time. This includes our BUPA counselling service, which is mention in the above blog. 

    That number is 0808 808 00 00 and our teams are available 7 days a week 8am-8pm. If you would prefer, you can also contact our teams during these hours via our live webchat facility by clicking here.

    I hope the above information is useful Joe, but please don’t hesitate to reach out to us on the Community team for some support - simply email community@macmillan.org.uk.

    Kindest regards,

    Rachel
    Macmillan’s Community team

  • Thanks Rachel.  MacMillan has always been a great help for me.  I'm through the day, hoping to sleep some tonight.  And I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow before my pre-op appointment.  In re-reading my post, I'm so sorry I was so morose.  It kind of slipped out before I knew what I was typing, if that makes sense.  The morning was particularly hard today.  But getting to work and getting distracted always help - and it did.  I know I'll get through all of this; and I cringe when I think of my whinging considering how many others are far worse off than me. But I thank you for your care and concern all the same. :-)  And thank you for your email.

  • Hi ,

    Thank you so much for getting back to me, you’re more than welcome. I’m really glad to hear that Macmillan has been a support to you in the past. Please know that we continue to be here for you now and going forwards Joe. 

    I hope that you slept well last night and that both your appointments today all go smoothly. I also hope you are able to get some guidance for your concerns and some support during your appointments this morning.  

    Please don’t apologise at all, the Community is a safe space online where anyone who is affected by cancer can come to post about anything they are going through. Our Community is a non-judgemental space where members can honestly and openly post about how they are feeling in that moment. As you say, sometimes just typing out how you are feeling at difficult moments can be really beneficial and I hope you continue to do so whenever you need an outlet.

    One thing we always say here on the Community team is that no one person's cancer experiences is any more or less important than another’s. Everyone is deserving of support and is entitled to feel however they are feeling.

    I hope you continue to find the site to be a place of comfort and support 24/7. Do remember you can contact the Community team if you have any questions, or if you need any further support by emailing community@macmillan.org.uk.

    Take care,

    Rachel
    Macmillan’s Community team

  • Hi Rachel,  Just a quick one to say my appointment went well.  I don't have an exact date for my surgery, but they've given me a basic idea.  Moods, I think live everyone will tell you, go up and down.  I know you and everyone at MacMillan understand this.  Navigating through it all is the challenging bit.  I'm getting there.  Many thanks for your continued support.

  • Hi ,

    Thank you so much for getting back to me, I’m so glad to hear that the appointment went well and that you have been given some more information about when your surgery might take place.  

    It’s completely understandable to be feeling a whole range of changing emotions with everything you are going through. So do try to remember to be kind to yourself no matter how you are feeling.

    As you have mentioned, navigating these emotions can be understandably tricky o it’s important to keep in mind the different avenues of support you have available Joe. Our Community is here 24/7 so you can always come here to post openly in a non-judgemental space about anything you are feeling.

    Our Support Line teams are here for you too, and do remember, you don’t need to have a question to call our support Line. You could just be having a difficult day and need someone to listen. That number again is 0808 808 00 00, or you can connect via webchat by clicking here.

    I hope that you have a nice restful evening now that your appointment is over and that you know that we are here for you now and going forwards Joe.

    Take care,

    Rachel
    Macmillan’s Community team