A quick and peaceful end

I wanted to share what my Mum's last days were like. She was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in May - too advanced for treatment and with liver mets. Apart from appetite an energy problems, she was OK until Sept then she started to become jaundiced and more tired. I had read a lot about pain management towards end of life and I was afraid - for her and for me as she was a home, and we wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. Two weeks before she died her tiredness became much worse, but she was still mobile around the house. I could see her worsening and asked Macmillan nurse for advice. There was still no pain but Mum mentioned slight abdominal discomfort so she was put on a very small dose of Oramorph. Over the next few days she deteriorated rapidly. On the Saturday morning she fell, was not hurt but needed to be helped up, by that evening small things like numbered lists she found confusing ( so unlike her) and a bedtime she said to me , "I am getting worse". I was so sad for her my heart was breaking. By Sunday, although she continued to be as mobile as she could be around the house, she was a bit more confused and distracted and sometimes was so weak she needed help to stand up and we had to move her in a computer chair with wheels. On Monday it was arranged for her to go into the local palliative care unit on the Tuesday . On Tuesday morning she was very weak, but quite lucid and like herself ( I had a lovely conversation with her) and, while waiting for the ambulance,she fell into a deep sleep. She died in the hospital later that evening. No pain, and peacefully with her family around her. I wanted to share this to say that the terrible pain one read about does not happen to everyone. Maybe if I had hoped that there would not be pain rather than fear the worst that would have helped me. Also the speed at which Mum deteriorated took everyone by surprise - even the doctors/ nurses who were in attendance a lot during the last days.. She had said no to a commode or wheelchair the week before - they may have helped in the last few days, but she was so weak they may not have made any difference. What she needed , suddenly, in her last 36 hours was 2 people to lift her as she was so weak. I was very lucky my husband was at home to help. Don't assume to have time to get things organised once extreme fatigue sets in - but also you can hope that the ending will not be one of terrible pain. I hope this helps someone. My Mum died on 30th October - I still can't believe it has happened.