My Brother

Im so sorry about your brothers illness and I understand how devastating a brain tumour can as my sister suffered with brain cancer too..I just wanted to send you a (((hug))) and welcome you here Im sure you will find alot of support. You are welcome to message me any time.

Love to you and your brother

scarlet xxxx

In my opinion, it's ALWAYS harder on our families, I don't think any of them cope BETTER than others, just differently, even with smiles on my families faces the pain shows through, I wish I could take it away, and it doesn't help knowing that the pain is caused by me...... There are no answers, or reason, and no it's not fair, I hope you find the strength to cope, my family make me proud by being normal around me, I don't want to be wrapped in cotton wool or babied, I want to see them smile and laugh and make new memories for them, I don't know your brother, but if he likes humour then maybe he would like the same, I want my family to remember the REAL me, not what cancer has done to me,

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

Liz xxxxxxxx

Hi Collettey,

The quick answer, and I am not being glib, is no one has the right answer that suits all - whether Patient of Carer we all cope in our own ways.

I do think Liz is so right - we needed to be treated as normal, something not everyone can do !

Maybe the most important thing is what you are already planning - be there for him - the brother you love is still in there. They say the last faculty we loose is our power of hearing, though he may not be able to respond he may well still hear and get comfort just from you and your Family's presence and conversations.

In so many ways we the Patients have the easier role - once we accept our position a lot of it is then down to making the most of what we have, live each day to the max and try to take some satisfaction in the small things that we all tend to take for granted. We know there will be an end to our fears and these days so much of the pain can be controlled.

For the Family, Carers and Friends there may never be a defined end. The suffering and grief will continue when ours is done.

No matter what you do you will never feel it was enough - but being there and telling them you love them really is enough and as much as anyone can do.

Please use the site for support - so many people on here understand exactly what you are going through and are always ready to offer support, care or even just an ear to listen.

Love & Hugs

John

Hi Collette,

Just wanted to say hi and let you know I understand.  My partner was diagnosed with GBM on 29th September, it's been a rollercoaster so far, lots of down, not so many ups but plenty of twists and turns and it's set to continue.

I realised shortly after Ste was diagnosed a lot of my grief was for me, what will I do when he's gone, how will I be able to tell his parents, how will I cope with being lonely.... all these things were things Steve had already thought of, we spoke and we cried but our fears were the same our worries were the same and our pain was the same.

There is no solution to how we feel right now, (and I say we because I'm in a similar place) there is no magic wand to make it all better and there is no point worrying about the things we cant change because they will happen no matter how much we protest, this is the most difficult thing to accept especially when they are so young (Steve is 31) but it does help.  I realise I cant change his diagnosis, I realise I cant take it all away and make it better but what I can do is to remain positive, I can stay happy for Steve and with Steve to help him enjoy the time he has with us and for me to enjoy the time I have with him so despite this horrible illness we can have good days and happy times.  Not every day will be a good day and there may not be as many happy times as we want but, we can cherish those we have.

Share your hopes and fears with your brother, talk to him and enjoy the time you have with him, as there is no cure for a GBM then the only thing we can give them is happy times for them to enjoy and for us to cherish.

Stay strong and please feel free to message me if you want x

and it doesn't help knowing that the pain is caused by me...... Elizabeth , I bet not one of your family think that! Its the bloody cancer to blame , certainly not you! xxxx    Collettey. I m sorry to read of your  lil bro and your pain , If you read through some of the blogs on this site , I am sure you will find the strength to help you through this ! xxxx