Caring has its ups and downs

Dear DGS - I send you positivity and understanding. Having recently been diagnosed with cancer myself I have reflected much on the time I spent caring for my dad in his final months. Although I feel the comparison is weak when he faced an untimely terminal diagnosis and for me there's such active treatment. My dad had bowel cancer as his primary but ended up with lung, liver and bone and was in so much pain - and while he waved between frustration, anger and sheer exhaustion - I always remember how humble and polite he was to everyone who cared for him during his illness. Looking back, as difficult as it was, I would have that time all over again - even with the same ending - as I got to know him so much better in his vulnerability. April mornings with the birds singing always remind me of our early mornings in the hospice and yellow tulips of his final days - but even as my yellow tuples are currently in bud outside (I grow them every year in his memory)  - I watch them grow with fondness. My point I suppose is caring is hard, wearing, and frustrating - emotionally and practically - but it also opens up places where you've never been - and in the long run I know that will be something you will be proud of and your partner - however angry and frustrated -  will always hold the care you showed with gratitude. Keep going - you're doing a fantastic job and I hope this comment will help you find strength when you need it. Best wishes

Hello, thanks so much for your reply. I am sorry to hear that you now have a cancer diagnosis and so glad there is treatment. You are indeed bound to make a comparison with the different experiences for your dad and yourself as carer. I also helped care for my mother some 20 years ago now. Mainly I stay calm and listen and react and empathise, though I have only known him as a freind a few years, really, his own house is not suitable. We all react with the best of us and the worst of us I guess when the days' realities progress. Everyone in this blog is being and doing the best they can,  given their situations. I really appreciate the response, human stuff no reliable script :-) look after yourself xx