7th April
I've been awake since around 2.00, my head full of all sorts of stuff so I'm unloading them whilst having a cup of tea. I've just realised whilst checking the date that it is 36 years to the day when I first started work. Thinking how much water has passed under the bridge, what has been achieved and all the mistakes I have made. There's not that much I regret. All in All I haven't done too bad after being the lad from Kilton who was always lighting fires, shooting guns and fighting. In fact thinking back I'm lucky to be alive after pushing that metal rod into the light bulb socket and Our Phil flicking the switch. The only damage done was a blown fuse. We got up to all sorts of tricks when we were sent to bed too early especially when the light bulb had been removed by mum.
My condition so far is that the belly skin around Bob is still a little sore, my stomach is hyper sensitive to the point that it feels like my tee shirt is made from sand paper and after sitting for a while I sometimes walk like I've shit myself. But who doesn't? On the plus side my 'Anal Charlie Horse' as refered to on an American web site (the pain inside by butt) seems to have subsided and I hope it stays that way.
My next appointment to find out my histology results is next Thursday at the Halamshire. Halamshire?? I will know for sure then whether it has all been taken away and if I need more treatment. So like Schrodnger's Cat which was neither DEAD nor ALIVE during his experiment (thanks John S for the idea) For now I both HAVE and HAVE NOT got cancer. I'm not too concerned at the moment since I'm taking each day as it comes and each obstacle in turn and besides there are loads of people worse off than me. My cousin is in currently fighting for his life in intensive care after a minor operation went badly wrong and although I have not seen him for a while it dominates our thoughts since it affects people that we care about. There is also Paddy's brother who has a brain tumor and his family who I think about a lot however I don't really know him and there are 2 women from work who are struggling with similar cancer related illnesses.
I've started to read Lance Armstrong's book yesterday which I'm storming through, to say I really struggle with with the attention span needed for reading. The whole thing just put my bit of a problem into perspective. He had Testicular cancer that had spread to his lungs and brain. In common with me his medical insurance failed him, his family and friends were totally loving and supportive and he partly made his own luck by being fit and healthy. Though I'm no athlete like he is I like to think that I have eaten sensibly and kept my self reasonably fit through my love for outdoor activities.
I'm going to start driving later today and will also try a longer walk however I will be listening to my body this time and not ignoring it when it tells me to stop.
One more cup of tea and I'm back to bed
