What a weekend - it's been kind of been one of the worst emotionally that I can remember. Sunday was mum's anniversary - 12 years. Never a good time of year but this year it's been a totally stressful time.
My stepmum had been in the same hospital since the beginning of the week, because of sickness etc so was having hadher pain relief and anti-sickness drug levels sorted out as well as various other tests and fluid drained off due to ascities. By the Sunday she was much better and yesterday was released from hospital - so some good news.
What really has tipped my and sister and I over the edge is that our dad who has various medical conditions (not cancer but receives treatment in the local Macmillan unit) picked up a kidney infection which made him pretty unwell at home. So my sister and I have been worrying about him and our stepmum while grieving again for mum. Come Monday I was due to take dad for a blood test and arrived to find him feeling rotten having had a bad night and lined up to go into the day unit for tests.
Anyway round the corner in the inpaitent ward my stepmum was finally discharged from her room - wait for it - only for my dad to be admitted into the room she has just vacated!!!!
I've stayed overnight at my dad and stepmum's house to make sure my stepmum is ok and thank goodenss appears to be so. And apparently dad is feeling brighter today - shouting at the newspaper - always a good sign. So maybe we are getting through this 'crisis' it just came at such a rubbish time and haven't cried so much in a long time. I couldn't believe it when I was sitting in the day unit waiting for my dad to come back from the doctor looking at him and on the radio in the unit a particluar song came on that can really get to me when I'm vulnerable. dad heard it to and knew why I was so red rimmed round the eyes when he got back!!
Sometimes it's just all too much - I really hope dad gets home in the next few days so he and my stepmum can have some time together at home to digest everything. My stepmum now has small tumours on her lung which was a shock as they've appeared quite quickly and her and dad haven't a chance to talk about the latest developments.
I'm looking for to going home to my little boy nd husband later today for a big cuddle.
Till the next time x
