Well, I have an appointment today at 2pm to find out my fate. Well done NHS - the urgent referral from my doctor was only sent last Tuesday and I already have the appointment. The two week rule is working I guess.
So, I have had my scan and had my blood test, I am hoping today I will find out if I really do have cancer and if so what will happen next. Of course I have been reading up on the matter here on the site and I have a pretty good idea of what to expect but I still feel sick all the same. You see, I am not scared of having cancer....I am scared of the prospects of surgery and my inability to care for my Mum. That is what is worrying me more. No-one seems to understand that, they think I am crying for myself but that isn't the case. I don't want to be an extra burden on a family already struggling with one cancer patient. I want to be the strong one who is there for Mum. How can I do that if I have surgery? I am going to ask what the ramifications would be if I opted not to have surgery for now, maybe I could postpone it? Who knows. I guess I will just have to wait for 2pm.
FormerMember
Hi Claire
You're in my thoughts and prayers! What a dilemma.
I partially understand as I too look after my elderly Mum who lives with and is dependant on me (who thank God is well except for arthritis etc) and I worry every time I am away for surgery or chemo. Maybe delaying surgery is possible, but sometimes we just have to do what is right for us, and 'call on' other even remote family and friends to care for our loved ones. Over past 3 years my sister has had to leave her job and come down a number of times to be here while I was in for surgery.
Hi Claire, Just want to send you best wishes for today. Hope you get good news. Please come back and let us know how it went. Will be thinking of you, Christine xx
What a terrible time you're having. You can't really make any decisions until you've seen the doctor today and know exactly what you're up against. Could I encourage you to be guided by what he says - I know it must be very tempting to think you can put off surgery until the situation is resolved with your mother (as you suggested in your previous blog), but you don't know how long that will be, and I would think you're better off having your surgery sooner rather than later. But until you've talked to the oncologist and know what is happening you can't decide. I agree with Jeanette - sometimes we do have to do what's right for us. By looking after yourself now, you will be in a better position to look after your mother later.
The best of luck for this afternoon - all fingers crossed for you! Let us know how you get on
Best wishes
Kate
(PS: I have ovarian cancer too so if I can be of any help, please don't hesitate to ask)
