Well, Mum went to get the results of her CT scan yesterday and it is not looking good. The oncologist has stopped treatment for the Lung cancer because he says it has been shrunk as much as possible and Mum is too exhausted for anymore. BUT it appears that what he thought was spread in her breast and spine is actually Primary breast cancer with spread to her spine. So the chemo for the lungs has had no effect on that and the spinal tumours are getting bigger. So now she has to have a biopsy on her breast and await treatment for that. I can't believe they didn't think of doing the biopsy before! Now it is like starting all over again. Mum is trying so hard to stay positive but broke down last night. My sister, brother and I are trying to get Mum to choose things to do or places to visit so she has things to look forward to but it so hard having those conversations when Mum doesn't want to know the prognosis. It is a bit like she is in denial but we want her to have the opportunity to do things before it is too late. Are we wrong? She wanted a new kitchen but to be honest the most she does in the kitchen is make toast and coffee. We tried to convince her a lovely new bathroom would be of more benefit to her personally as she is unable to bath so she needs a walk in shower. But even that was a difficult conversation. I am struggling at the moment with all of this and am finding it hard to muster up any enthusiasm myself. I read people's blogs on here and am in awe of some people. They seem to be dealing with it all so well and some days I do feel strong but lately it is getting harder. I don't want to lose my Mum - bottom line - the thought is too much to bear today.
