Hi All, I would like your opinions on this subject to help me gauge whether I am making a big deal of things or not.
My aunt, who I have to admit, I totally dislike after she spread a lot of lies about me at my dad's funeral in April and caused me an awful lot of distress, recently told my mum that her son had been diagnosed with kidney cancer at the age of 31. Naturally, my mum, who is her sister and the rest of the family have been shocked and upset at the news.
Her son, my cousin, was admitted last week for surgery to remove the tumour which is covering half of the kidney. Now, because of his weight (he is 31 stone) the doctors said they would try to remove it by keyhole surgery, but that didn't really look likely. When he got to hospital, the anaesthetist refused the operation as she said it was too risky because of his weight. He was supposed to lose a lot of weight before the op, but to be honest, he hasn't been trying. Anyway, he was sent home and told that they would send for him possibly sometime in October.
It then emerged that they won't know whether the tumour is benign or malignant until it is removed and biopsied. I am outraged that they never said that at the start, they have told everyone he has cancer. Having had cancer myself and losing my dad to it recently, I cannot put into words how angry I am that they have upset everyone before they even know one way or the other. My sister says perhaps he was told he had cancer and the doctors didn't tell him it could be one or the other at the start. Is this possible? Is it possible to give a definite diagnosis of cancer from a CT scan, which is what he had.
I have been told by my husband that I am being nasty in my anger and I should have some sympathy with him. Well, of course, I would never wish this on anyone, but I believe the docs would have told him at the beginning all the possibilities, not definites until they were sure.
My question is, do others believe I am unjustified in my anger, perhaps because I don't have a lot of time for this family? No-one in my family agrees with me, they think I am being vindictive, but I am genuinely not. I do not hide my dislike for them, but I think I would be just as angry if it was my next door neighbour. I don't really know. Perhaps my judgement is being clouded because of my feelings towards the family, so wanted an independant opinion.
Thanks for reading guys. Christine xx
