Just had the news today. It's back. I have secondary Oesophageal Cancer in my Oesophagus and stomach.
Don't know the full extent of it yet, and won't know until Monday 10th when I have to see my consultant to discuss my next step, and if there is any further treatment I can have to keep me going a little longer.
Had the worse day possible, having to tell all my lovely work customers that I am closing down, possibly for good, having to tell family and friends. And the worse thing ever...…..having to tell my husband and watching him cry. Its gut wrenching to have to hurt him so deeply.
Had already arranged to visit family in the north in a couple of weeks. They don't know yet, and I need to keep it from them until after my visit, so that I don't spoil the visit for them. That's going to be hard, but I will be so proud of myself if I can pull it off.
On my return I have booked myself into a 2 day retreat at the Penny Brohn Clinic just outside Bristol. I went there 11 years ago when I was first diagnosed. It is a truly wonderful Cancer retreat that helps get me into the right state, mentally, physically and spiritually, to be able to deal with all the implications that will be coming my way. At the moment I'm nowhere near feeling calm or rational, so a lot of work needs to be done...…………..
