I am new and scared

I have just joined the McMillan web site. I was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in February 2006, I joined a research program at Western Park Hospital Sheffield called STAMPEDE, after my radiotherapy I had a Zoldronic Acid infusion every month for 2 years and a Zoladex implant every 3 months. In 2008 I was told my cancer was in remission and my PSA levels were around 0.04 (normal is 4.0), so everything was great. During my last visit to Western Park, I was told my PSA was again below the 0.0 level so everything is OK. I then had a call to say they would like another PSA test, my oncologist called me to say he had the results and they are concerning, the first test showed a PSA of 42 and the second test taken 2 weeks later showed the PSA had risen to 64 and they would like to carry out a bone scan, I know stress can cause PSA levels to rise and the family have been having a tough time as I am unemployed having lost the business in July 2008, we had a unexpected bereavement 3 days into our holiday and we are financially short of money. I am the type of person who needs to have all the facts and be in control so I can make informed decisions, this waiting for the bone scan appointment is driving me crazy, I have offered to go to the hospital and just wait in case an appointment is missed. I cannot stop myself thinking about my wife and three sons and what will happen to them if the outcome is the worst. The only person who knows about this is my wife. I hope you do not mind me writing this but is sure feels dark and lonely. Thanks for reading this