Today while reading blogs here something hit me that I have 'known' all along but never quite put my finger on it...and that is, at least here in the states, psychiatry is not offered as support unless asked for. You can have your complete work-up, surgery, post surgery care, follow-up visits at home, follow-up visits everywhere, etc. All those services are 'built-ins' to the care. But one thing that is an absolute string throughout ALL our posts (pretty much) is our mental health. Our mental health is not automatically cared for as part of the plan of care...pretty much until we ask for it or have demonstrated a deviation from our norm. And it is sooooo important. Our self-images, are we burdens to our families, finality of days, loneliness, inability to tolerate visitors, irritability, irrational behavior...I can go on and on...We get psychiatric help if we ask or it's noticed, but it is not a 'given' or as part of the cancer care. Hmmm...I think I have 2 cents to offer my care team!
Here, we automatically have social workers as part of the care team, but not psych people...Do you have it in the UK or elsewhere? How is YOUR mental health cared for?
FormerMember
Just to say that my partner has been offered counselling and so have i, this was arranged through our Macmillan nurse, although none of us has been for any yet.
I think that because we are coping with cancer on our own-no family around, she thought it would be good for both of us. Also my partner suffered badly with aniety when he was first diagnosed but this has improved with medication and he is in a much better place than he was but i think he will go for counselling if he feels he needs it, they have told him to ring anytime for an appointment no need to wait for a referral.
It does seem as though it's assumed you can cope unless it can be seen as otherwise. I live on my own and am pretty much 'self contained' with everything. I do tend to battle on through things, but there is also the thought that it can be a way of fooling myself and others that things are ok.
However, looking back at things, nobody has counselled (I hate that word) me to see if anything's needed, and it could be a big hole for people to fall through.
i am batteling with varying feelings about my young sons cancer and i thought i was doing ok on my own but i now know i am not coping ,but it was upto me to go to my drs and ask for counselling,i am still waiting for an appointment but hopefully soon before i make myself even more ill
Just as you stated in your case, the medical side is well covered here, pre-op, post-op, etc. but as for the 'mental side of things' we are left out in the cold. We dont get counselling unless we ask for it, and most of us, especially men, are too stubborn to admit that they need it. Personally I think it should be brought up at the hospital in the early stages. I suffered far more mental pain than physical and I am not ashamed or 'too macho' to admit it. I was terrified at first and my wife and I were put under a lot of strain, how she coped I will never know. I have to use diazepam now and again and I wonder how do others cope ??? If you did get counselling/psychiatric help did it work ???
After I was dx with BC last year in one breast I made the decision to have a bilateral masectomy ( was offered and accepted reconstructive surgery too) My mother has a history of BC and having watched her I did not want to take the risk of it coming back and going through what she went through. I was sure of my decision but was offered professional counselling to ensure I had thought everything through. I am glad I accepted the offer although I only needed to go a couple of times before my op. It made me think about a few things I had not considered. I was told I could phone this therapist at any time at a later date if I needed to.Thankfully I did not need to.
However I have now gone through surgery, chemo and radiotherapy and am still being treated with Herceptin ( every three weeks at hosp) and Tamoxifen. I am struggling to get back to work and over the year have , like many others , had low points. My breast care nurse at the hosp referred me to the local cancer support centre where I went for a couple of counselling sessions when things were really tough. I am about to visit the centre again cos I am struggling to get back to "normality" and although I have survived the last year am finding it is still a fight to get back my old life. One of the most difficult decisions is accepting and asking for help and it is obvious that not everyone has the same access to support.
My husband was offered counselling at his work who have been very supportive in the last year. It also helped him to talk to other men at his work , who unfortunatly had been along the same path.
Isnt it strange that a universal care plan is not in place for all patients and their families regardless of where they live.
