Its about 6 weeks now since we were told. After fighting breast cancer twice over the last 15 years, my poor mum has been told she now has a spread to her bones and her lung. I think I knew it was coming, but just hearing those words was like being punched in the head again and again and again.
She ended up in hospital with a broken hip, completely misdiagnosed by her GP as arthiritis! Well, it wasn't arthiritis - it was cancer again! The tumour had broken the hip bone. She's had a hip replacement but it couldn't take away all of the cancer - its also spread to one of her lungs and a lymph node.
Mum seemed to be coping well, she seemed to have accepted it and was ready to get on with dealing with it. My dad was very positive. I have been trying my very best to be the strong one. My brother just doesn't seem to understand the gravity of it all - that's about typical!!!
But right now I feel as though everything is falling apart. Mum is so depressed and has absolutely nothing in her at all. Dad broke down on my shoulder today - I never thought I would see my poor old dad like that. And I feel so sad. I'm not ready to lose my mum, my dad isn't ready to lose his wife. But I feel as though she's already gone ... How has this happened? What the hell do I do now???
My boys are only 8 and 5 years old. Its the summer holidays. They need to be having fun, not having to put up with all this. Just feeling so useless at the moment ...
I'm hoping that I can get it all out on here and be that strong daughter, wife, mother, carer, sister ... everything I need to be.
